Published on 12, July, 2020
Lights, sounds, smells, everything is extra intolerable lately. I cant seem to make myself do stuff, I cant make decisions. I feel tired and am getting headaches. Words are harder. I keep almost having meltdown/shutdowns (just today I felt like a meltdown every 30min). Im exhausted
I want it all to stop, I want to take a break from everything but I cant. I have homework, I have school, on friday we have an assembly which I always get overwhelmed at but im scared ill have a full on meltdown because I seem to not even be able to handle everyday stimuli so how could I survive a room with hundreds of students with everyone screaming to get hyped for stupid turnabout dance
I started feeling like rubbish for a couple weeks but then the last 3 days have been absolutly unbearable. Why is life so hard
Took me 21min to type this (not even that long of a post...)
Hi FrozenHeart. Apart from the headaches, that sounds exactly like I'm feeling at the moment. I know it doesn't help much but you're not alone. I try to remember that the bad days don't last forever, they will pass and good days will come.
I don't know what schools are like where you are but I have experience of schools in the UK. I worked in a secondary school as a SEND (special educational needs and disabilities) teaching assistant until I ended up with burnout from the sensory overload of the school environment! That's how I realised that I was autistic! The school I worked at made lots of adaptions for autistic students that might help you so I would suggest you talk to your school and see what they can do for you. Adaptions in the UK include leaving a lesson 5 minutes early so that you don't have to deal with busy corridors, skipping assemblies, collecting your lunch early or from a separate area to avoid the queue, a lunch club in a quiet, low sensory room, toilet passes so if you are too anxious to go during busy break times, you can leave the lesson, a pass to allow you to step outside the classroom or go for a 5 minute walk. I know it's hard but I think your school should be supporting you better.
Im sorry you are feeling similarly
Thanks for the ideas. I might try to get help from the school