Published on 12, July, 2020
We all have really bad days and when I do I often feel I’m floundering and don’t know where to turn to find some comfort and make the world feel like a less completely hostile place. What strategies do you use on those days when everything feels completely overwhelming and bleak and you’re feeling hopeless about life? What helps?
Quiet, routine, structure and planning.
or watching my favourite tv program that is comforting and familiar. or some feel good safe food like cake.
I think it took me a long time to work out what I need in that sort of situation, especially as it varies so much depending on what it is I’m overwhelmed by. I’d try and variety of things and see which is most affective!
I go very quiet, and need quiet, but I’m not sure it actually helps me. What tv programmes do you find comforting?
Yeah I don’t know if quiet is actually a positive. It’s like my brain is so overwhelmed it needs the quiet but then that gives way for overthinking to happen! I guess like mindfulness could be the way forward, although I have never ever been able to do this! Have you ever tried it? ah for me it’s rewatching greys anatomy or friends! I much prefer rewatching something to something new.
Yes, it has been a lovely day, thank you Sloan. People and dogs and friendships. Now burning some long-past-midnight oil and musing.
Nice to bump into you properly here.....we evidentially understand each other on this 'funnel' thing = nice and comforting ....and we will be engorging another thread if we now allow ourselves the option to substitute the word "Megaknob" for the word "funnel" below (in our minds)...! Not essential....and probably neither appropriate nor worthwhile to do so....but anything to help you wade through the following stodgy word soup;
Having a giant funnel is an incredibly wonderful thing.....but it needs to be managed and handled carefully or else overwhelm can rapidly crash the train = carnage is a real risk. Socially, a giant funnel always garners attention of one kind or another. It makes its presence felt. Sometimes, a giant funnel can be hidden very effectively in a manner akin to that of a large building hiding anonymously within a street of tarmac, benches, flowerbeds, parked cars and normal shops. If the building falls over, however, or if you "blow the bloody doors off" ..... everyone notices.
Rather than pretending that I can successfully manage my giant funnel like normal people handle their normal funnels (which I tried for 50+ years with varying degrees of success and harm to me and others,) I now choose to explain to people (that must endure me and my nonsense,) that, I am a little different.
I now allow myself to talk to myself....I find this to be a VERY excellent way to keep my (potentially very useful Being) focused on the appropriate matters at hand. If I do that, I find that I can ensure that at least 50% of my funnel is occupied with listening to myself (often correcting, advising and chastising myself), whilst the other 50% can address feedback generated by doing the actual fooking thing required that I am chatting to myself about....there is no room for further input and therefore no room for distraction!
When not nattering to myself like a mad bloke, (for instance when I'm on the phone.....(yes, an actual bloodi voice call = I am that old))......I also need to pace around......and be looking around at things....or completely still with my eyes closed.....or sitting weirdly....or speaking in a daft accent or manner.....its quite a performance sometimes....never manic....but can be a little overwhelming for those at the other end, or listening or watching !! My general output is extremely "worked" and I speak by appointment only, about important things. When attempting to work at a computer, audible melody/beat (carefully derived and married to the task) seems to be very important to my success or otherwise.
Its all very ~~~insert your label of choice~~~ to me. Whatever it is, many people here on these pages help me enormously and they feel like VERY 'neurokin' to me, and frankly, they all seem to be of the ~~~insert your label of choice~~~ variety.
I don't deny myself the negative overthinking these days...but I'm careful not to burden others with it where possible...and I keep my REAL life sufficiently edgy to JOLT me out of any dangerous whirlpools these days. Not drinking booze really helps me avoid the whirlpools and allows me the clarity to forgive myself the bursts of negativity that are both founded and reasonable. I believe that social media is a primary source of whirlpools, so I choose to have nothing to do with it.......with a funnel like mine....those places would be unhealthy and unwise for me.
Anyhow Sloan......tis late....should sleep now.....has been a pleasure...thanks for prompting a Number rant.....till the next time.
Kindest regards
Number.
Yes totally agree… I think being able to master mindfulness would be an incredible achievement for an autistic person as I think we all have a tendency to overthink, overanalyse, get distracted. It’s hard to find a time when I feel reasonably okay to try and do it! yeah I think easy to watch mindlessness is a good solution to it all!
Yes! I get that exactly. I love the funnel analogy. As much as I love quiet time, my mind very quickly descends into negative overthinking or hyper focus on something that I shouldn’t be focusing my attention on! hope today has been a good day for you! :)
Yes like people folding blankets nicely or lots of weird things like annoying sounds when you have to get a hard job done gives carity and focus
Yes - when I’m really anxious I don’t want to do anything or go anywhere. It’s probably what I SHOULD do though, it would probably help.
Yes - I’ve tried mindfulness and meditation, but they only seem to help when I’m feeling reasonably ok - when I really feel overwhelmed I can’t engage with them. It’s like you say - the quietness is just too intense and it’s just too much. I’ve found the writings/recordings of Eckhart Tolle quite helpful too - but again it’s not very helpful when I’m struggling the most. Weirdly really shallow stuff on YouTube seems to help more than mindfulness - I suppose you could describe that stuff as ‘mindlessness’! It’s about all my mind can cope with when I feel like that.
Yes i can relate i like re watching old tv cult shows love watchink monk its so silly but good at the same time its like meditations over thinking things can cause huge anxietys to the state i dont want to leave the house .