Published on 12, July, 2020
I burnt out a year or so ago and am finding it hugely difficult to regain any enthusiasm for work. I am working now but only part time and take little joy in it, even though my team are lovely and kind and the organisation is interesting. I worry I'd take no joy in any kind of work anymore.
I have had depression for a number of years and do well managing it on the most part now. I do take joy outside work in painting and so on. However work seems to be really difficult to get back to enjoying - I used to have quite a bit of responsibility and did kind of enjoy it at times.
I don't know if it was burn out because of Autism and masking (I was just diagnosed a couple of weeks ago) or just my jolly personality but it happened and I was interested to know people's experience of returning to work so I can learn from you all if that's ok?
So my last burnout led to my diagnosis, since which I've looked back and realised a number of other significant times where I was burnt out but didn't know. I'm a year later, I don't feel back to normal but then I'm now of a mind as to what the heck is normal anyway. I still care about my work, but right now figuring who or what I am and how I interact with the world seems more important.
If you're asking yourself If it was burnout, it probably was. Nothing can go back the way it was, so for me it's about accepting what's going on now rather than looking back on what was, which you might be viewing with rose tinted specs anyhow.
Joe said:Nothing can go back the way it was
Yeah you're probably right, I wouldn't want to return back but there are some elements I would love to have back, enthusiasm / curiosity / something to turn my brain from low gear to something higher.
I've had some discussions on this forum that have made me realise it has to be me who works this out but hearing from you with your experiences is so helpful.
So much I want to say, basically though did your focus switch off work and is that bad? Maybe the focus being on you not work isn't such a bad thing? Was work just a distraction? May have the wrong end of the stick, sorry if I have.
Not got the wrong end of the stick at all, yes far more focused on me and non-work stuff. Which is definitely helping me enjoy life more.
I suppose work is such a huge part of life, so many hours spent there it becomes necessary quite quickly to address it. It's come to that point for me, which perhaps shows I'm over the worst of it.
My ideal job would be a painter but no where near talented or business savvy enough to make a living out of it!