Malojian's general purpose chat thread (perhaps people can post here if they are feeling lonely?)

I will be adopting from Lincs Ark when the time is right:

https://www.lincsark.co.uk/

Nexus11 said:

Why not slowly do your homework to find out how to satisfy a pet's needs, in terms of food,  nutrition, toys, litter, then when the time is right....

This is what i've been doing since January. I grew up around cats but if i choose to adopt one it would be the first that is completely my responsibility. 

Nexus11 said:

Pets can do a great deal to improve mental health.

My dog certainly has. He has a very calming effect on me and taking him for walks has kept me more active. He's very old and frail now so he's at my parents because their house is more suitable for him and they can look after him better between them. 

That sounds like a plan.  Something loving but also low maintenance would be ideal.

Why not slowly do your homework to find out how to satisfy a pet's needs, in terms of food,  nutrition, toys, litter, then when the time is right....

Pets can do a great deal to improve mental health. My partner when he came to visit conceded that the cats 'were doing me a great deal of good.' 

That's really kind of you. Just one of the annoying cycles I seem to go through

how are you though?

I took the name from the Irish band of the same name. As i was really into them at the time i chose my moniker here.  I think the word does have a meaning also.

I think i will just try and look after myself and leave the idea of a pet for when i'm more stable.  I grew up around family pets though and i still think of those pets.

Hi Malojian, I have a quick question about your name - is it a sort-of phonetic way of spelling melodeon? Like the squeezy instrument? 

i am also exhausted but now awake after a long sleep.

I understand your pain.  We are human and we long for others but we are also Autistic and we need solitude.  I've lived 40 years and still haven't found the answer to this riddle.

What's the craic Des?  I just woke up after going to bed yesterday afternoon.  I'm still tired though.

That sounds like me Zoe. I recently made friends with some people on another forum and now one of them is visiting.  I expect something like that is the only way i'll find a partner also.

Hello.  I recall your handle as you posted in my thread that i made to inform others of an upcoming documentary.

I seem to find community with others who share my view of the world.  Irrespective of whether they are on the spectrum or off it.  But i don't think i'm a very communal person at all.  More of a discordant and challenging one.

That's exactly what i did yesterday.  I take it from the tenor of your comment that you are in the workplace?

I ended up going to bed in the afternoon.  I'm really exhausted of late.

That's sounds awful.  I'm sorry that is happening to you.

Well, if you call graphic dreams about SH, it was ok. My Dr appointment is on Monday and face to face. Not happy about that. 

You havnt rambled at all. What youve said makes a lot of sense.  I know what you mean about the moment where nobody is available. Sometimes I am on here at 3am just commenting back on stuff and desperate for someone to talk to but no one else is up so I really get that

I dont know whether you exhaust people but I can understand what you mean about exhausting yourself, I feel like my brain exhausts me too. I dont think you exhaust anyone on here at all though, you are always a very interesting person to speak to 

I need a lot of solitude but can still have moments of loneliness. When anxiety and hopelessness/heartbreak is at its highest, I know that my two or three ‘IRL’ friends aren’t going want me to discomfort them in their busy lives by straying outside the margins of established conventionality. Not do I keep their hours - one of them goes to bed at 10 pm every day of the year. ‘Banter’ is our chief currency, and I play my part wel and not inauthentically as the 5% of the iceberg that is my inner life that wants the lifeline of mere ‘goings on’ and jokes is an important fraction to maintain. 

I have this place, and one other (a Doctor Who discord server) where I can flag up my most intense feelings with a bit more honesty, but even in such spaces I know it’s a lottery of who themselves has stayed up late, is not themselves burned out or dysregulated etc etc. and so sometimes there’s a moment where nobody is available when I’d most want to be taking the edge off ‘the fear’. Resilience is re-learned in those moments. It’s unpleasant, but survivable. 

I think I exhaust people too. I can sense it coming, and when it does people fade like ghosts. I don’t blame them. I have to put up with me 24/7, (except for the welcome oblivion of sleep), other people have the option to ration exposure to my onslaught of words. So those kind enough to keep in touch with me keep contact light and sporadic at times. And I’m glad that they look after their tolerance levels like that. It means that those connections are more likely to sustain- paced by a truthful ebb and flow largely healthily uncompromised by some doomed NT-attuned attempt at ‘correct’ ratios and mechanics of conversation. We do what we can, when we can, and we are honest when ‘only’ the lightest engagement with any of this online connection -or hibernation from it- is the very best we can do. I’ve rambled here, sorry. Thinking ‘aloud’ and  alone in the dark.  

How's the form?

I caught up with laundry, today. Also, I am getting ready to call it a night.