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My World Is Falling Apart

Pikl

Hi everyone.

A wonderful friend of mine suggested posting here in the hopes that I can find some advice. 

My thoughts are running so fast that I'm struggling to start. I'm struggling with everything right now, to the point living is just too overwhelming. I'm failing in my home life and failing in my work life. It feels too impossible to get through it, though I know there must be a way through, I'm just not able too see it. 

I'm currently on the waiting list for talk therapy, for the 3rd time, this time to ascertain whether or not the pins and needles in my mouth and side of my face is due to anxiety. I can't talk to a GP anymore, I don't want medication it makes me feel really unwell. I don't want to be sent contact details of Samaritans, or any other groups, again. That's not helpful. I really don't like asking for help, I've been conditioned to believe that's wrong. And I'm falling down a black hole and can't see a way out.

I've lost myself, not that I've ever really understood myself. I'm only eating once a day, a small meal, and I think it's my way of gaining some sense of control. 

I don't know what to do anymore. 

I apologise for the very long and pointless post.

Parents Reply
  • in reply to Deleted User

    I'm sorry Number.

    Although age wise I'm definitely an adult, I'm in actual fact a very confused child that is too eager to share ideas as they come to me. I think in my own little weird way I'm asking for help without actually trying to ask for it. Again, just ignore me, I don't even know what I'm trying to do anymore 

Children
  • in reply to Deleted User

    You always make me smile Number, thank you as always. Enjoy your day and hopefully catch you again soon.

  • in reply to Pikl

    Hey - you've earned your stripes in this place.  I've seen you be there for many.....I just want to offer a supportive shoulder to you when you need it too.   Being a "right mess" is a proper ball-ache (you know what I mean!) - but we are both also old enough to remember that it does pass - the sun will come out again soon enough.

    My last attempt to make you smile before I run off and do important stuff in the real world.......

  • in reply to Deleted User

    Thank you so much for understanding. I'm a right mess at the moment, and you and everyone on the forum are very patient, and I'm most grateful.

  • in reply to Pikl

    I have noticed that you do apologise a lot, but I can never understand why you are apologising.  You definitely had ABSOLUTELY no cause to apologise for the above?!  Please do not respond to this by apologising for apologising......circularity drives me around the bend! [see what I did there?!]

    I can't, nor wish to, ignore you.  I'm not sure I can necessarily be of any material help to you either....but I do want you to know that your inexplicable woes are not unique.  They might be dreadful, but others in these pages do understand.  I am one of those.