Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone.
A wonderful friend of mine suggested posting here in the hopes that I can find some advice.
My thoughts are running so fast that I'm struggling to start. I'm struggling with everything right now, to the point living is just too overwhelming. I'm failing in my home life and failing in my work life. It feels too impossible to get through it, though I know there must be a way through, I'm just not able too see it.
I'm currently on the waiting list for talk therapy, for the 3rd time, this time to ascertain whether or not the pins and needles in my mouth and side of my face is due to anxiety. I can't talk to a GP anymore, I don't want medication it makes me feel really unwell. I don't want to be sent contact details of Samaritans, or any other groups, again. That's not helpful. I really don't like asking for help, I've been conditioned to believe that's wrong. And I'm falling down a black hole and can't see a way out.
I've lost myself, not that I've ever really understood myself. I'm only eating once a day, a small meal, and I think it's my way of gaining some sense of control.
I don't know what to do anymore.
I apologise for the very long and pointless post.
And if you can, please try to put yourself into this state of mind.......
Thank you Number. I love dogs.
My private diagnosis was done at the psychiatrists home due to covid and was done over zoom. He asked if I liked dogs and called his dog to jump up and put his front paws on the desk with the laptop. It was like a had a therapy dog with me.
I seem to understand them and they seem to understand me - we definitely don't always agree on things, and we don't always like each other nor necessarily get along......but the fact that we DEFINITELY give each other respect and time to get a respectful understanding of each other, seems to result in a mutually sustaining relationship. I wish more humans could be "more dog" !
You always make me smile Number, thank you as always. Enjoy your day and hopefully catch you again soon.