Depression Slump

Admittedly, it is hard - and, ironically, too easy - to give advice when we don't know the personalities of the people involved. It's easy, and glib, for me to write 'You must do this/that' etc while it's you who has to do all the hard work. But whether you succeed or not it is worth the fight; because finally knowing for *definite* where you stand enables you to move on, make decisions about the people in your life, and have a clear conscience about the efforts you made.

Hi,

thanks for replying. on my good days, I’m with my mam as I only go shopping when she’s with me. I don’t go anywhere alone. I’ve got a little brother (7) and a little sister (6) who are also autistic. we’re a very close family, along with my other two sisters (26 and 23) and grandparents. But it’s still a battle some days to get them to understand why I shut off and find lack of motivation. You’d think with so many autistics in the family, they’d understand but they seem to have more time and patience with the kids with SEN and think I should be able to just get on with it. I’ve got absolutely no support from professionals or mental health support. CBT I’ve tried a million times and it doesn’t work for me. I don’t understand it and it doesn’t help me. 

I‘m just at a loss as to what I can do next. Getting a doctor’s appointment is like winning the lottery in my town. They try and push you into reading self help guides, which is great for an autistic/adhd/dyslexic with already diagnosed mental health problems. It doesn’t help me at all and I’m not being told where there’s any more support. 

Thank you for your reply,

I understand your analogy and realise why it’s important. But the constant push/pull of it is a little off putting, especially when you’ve tried for years and everyone just shrugs or ignores. 

Hi,

I’ve been on depression and anxiety medication since I was 13. I only got my ASD/ADHD diagnosis aged 20 so I didn’t even know it would tie into ASD when I was diagnosed with Anxiety and Depression. 

What you described is exactly how my mind ticks. Sometimes not as bad as others but still always nagging in the back of my head. I don’t go anywhere alone, too much stress and anxiety. 

Yeah mate, it isn't pleasant but it's often effective.

You've just cleared something up for me that I could otherwise have nominated for the 'things I don't understand' thread. Namely the ref/players thing. I'm not into football, but I've seen enough to have been puzzled many time by the acting up that goes nowhere. Or so I thought...

Are you always waiting for disaster to strike or excessively worried about things such as health, money, family, work, or school? If so, you may have a type of anxiety disorder called generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). GAD can make daily life feel like a constant state of worry, fear, and dread. 

I feel that it's crucial for you to try to make your family understand as best you can. Even if you're occasionally silent or despairing, even if you feel that your issues are difficult to explain clearly, even if you fear your family will doubt, question or dismiss you or your concerns; you *must* persevere. This is because not only will the act of trying possibly help you - as painful and as fitful as the experience may be - but also because your sheer persistence in being heard might pay off in terms of making your family realise that you really need help and support. And then, hopefully, they will make decent efforts alongside you - they might even attend doctors and the like with you which, by their presence alone, obliges such professionals to take you seriously.

There is strength in numbers. You know how footballers pester referees for favourable consideration of their concerns (genuine or not)?: they do this because, even if the referee dismisses them time and again, the players' persistence causes the ref to pay more attention to events. A similar spirit of persistence might, in your case, lead to professionals' & parents' attention being focused on your very genuine concerns. If they're reluctant, wear them down.

When a person is in despair, as you are, then every possible solution seems hopeless and doomed in prospect; this is merely a trap of thinking, a self-fulfilling false prophecy, because who can actually predict the future? You *must* try, regardless of doubts and self-doubt.

Hi Treevey. Tired as I am, I think I’ll sleep a little better knowing you’ve had one reply to your pouring your heart out here. Not an easy thing to do, especially when feeling low and exhausted. Life can be very hard sometimes and I’m sorry you’re in such a bad place right now. Your situation (being more isolated than many) does sound challenging but I hope communities like this one gI’ve you some comfort. And while wanting friends is understandable, ongoing family contact is not something everyone has so I hope that in your good days you feel blessed by your interactions with them. 

Maybe being slightly nocturnal is just your natural biorhythm? I know it’s that way for me. The later I can wake up and go to bed the more rested I feel. Don’t feel guilty for being a night owl! But hopefully you can find a way to miss fewer messages from family and get more of a balance going. Sorry this is all a bit inarticulate and useless, I’m very tired and anxious myself for any number of reasons. But maybe just to have someone - anyone- see your words and say ‘I see you, and I see your pain’ is enough for now. And brighter minds will have more practical advice in time! Take care and feel better soon…