Published on 12, July, 2020
My anxiety is getting worse I feel like I'm at breaking point. I'm always terrified. I'm always fearing the worst. I feel the urge to wash my hands all the time, I wake up in the middle of the night and wash them. They are very very red and painful now and burn a lot. I've taken to wearing gloves because the coolness of the air burns them. They tremble as well, I think that's the anxiety. They always used to tremble every now and then but now it's all the time.
I feel sick a lot, no appetite and I get moments where I feel faint. I have a diagnosis of generalized anxiety disorder I know it's that but it adds to the anxious feelings. My thoughts are always anxious and I don't leave the house not unless it's to go in the garden for some air.
And now today, worst yet my hair has gone white. I'm so sad right now. I'm only 26 and my hair is white. I've always been pale that I could cope with but now my hair is white. It looks horrible.
I thought of calling my doctor but I haven't been out since the first wave of covid and I don't feel ready to go out now. I don't know what to do.
Lorna x
I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. I have a diagnosis of generalized anxiety disorder too and it's pretty bad at the moment. My anxiety has definitely got worse since the start of Covid, so I can relate to that.
Going out is going to be a huge step after all that time. I find that the longer I stay in the harder it gets to go out.
I'm not sure how much time you have been able to spend in the sunshine in the garden. I'm wondering if you may be lacking in vitamin D, which may account for some of your symptoms. Do you take any supplements?
I understand how difficult it is to contact doctors. Their systems are not designed for autistic people who suffer from severe anxiety. Just the idea of having to call is hugely anxiety inducing and the receptionists can be very off putting. Hopefully your doctor should be able to offer you some support with your anxiety and some explanation about your other symptoms. Some surgeries have started doing appointments by video link, so it would be worth checking if yours can offer that.