I am 39 years old. Little education no real work experience and married with child. Ive always been looked after and am scared all the time. Been told i dont have to work but feel so guilty ... ive barely ever lived and when people tell me to be happy i cant. Im beyond useless
For me it always seemed i was searching for a release from reaponsibility but not in a way of lol im smarter than you. More like please dont make me i find it all very stressful and i dont react or seem to see society properly. So while i can be a nice person i feel like its strange. Is it acceptable to live the life i need or is that entitlement
a single thought about working did not occur to me until I was 25
it's probably a falsly installed in you belief
Autistic Rebel in one of her latest videos captured that issue nicely,
i don't think I could explain it
Shame comes from feeling like we’ve done something wrong, or we aren’t good enough. However, often, these feelings can be imposed on us by outside forces, that determine what “socially acceptable” is.
If we go along with those beliefs to what “acceptable” is, then we are more vulnerable to shame.
You have to believe that you’ve done something unacceptable to feel shame. When you feel you have done something, or as a person, you yourself, are unacceptable in some way, it can cause you to feel humiliated.
People say im not to blame but feels like i am
think of it that way:
you can be in two places at the same time
or at least move between them in split of a second
feels like all the time :D
tell yourself they are more affraid of you then you of them
With courage, rather than fear. Calm inner peace helps.
How does one approach a society they avoided for 25 years
You are gaining awareness of your past and present and that is stirring things, the past has gone so focus on the present - and choose to be more than someone that drifts along, a better version of you.
Thats it right there. I have always been super anxious becausr i know ive been surviving. She did alot of the responsibilities that i am just now starting to do. This past year has been aweful as i started to see how id been lazy ho little life skill amd how basic i live. Hearing them say i wasnt bad does not compite as to me i have lived almost without effort. I feel they are nieve to an ass* imho
If they are fine about it, then you can be fine about it. It can be gift in positive ways, with children and partners - playful, young at heart. But it can cause difficulties if you aren't mature when its needed, and that's something to work on. Autistic people tend to be this way, and can develop later in life, thats OK.
Im a man child and when my wife and child say its fine i struggle to understand
Guilt, shame, etc. can get stuck way beyond the point it makes any sense, usually because we don't learn to accept what has happened, or learn to let go and move on. Hold onto the good things instead, let the bad things fade way. Things will pop up again, but just observe instead of engaging.
Best thing is to do is accept whatever you feel shame about, apologise in your mind to yourself or other people, and then aim to avoid shame in the future - but if it happens, accept it and let it go, hold onto something good instead.
Shame is a big part...if i could get past it od be alot happier.
I often wonder why neurotypicals assume they are the pinnacle of nature and then i remember that weaker entities often band together for strength. I have always been deeply emotional. Poetic and attached deeply to my childs emotional wellbeing. Nobody aroind me seems to get any of it cept drinking. Talking about work or some slagging off or zfactor blah blah...i fins it mind numbingly mundane. My self worth doea not exist i know im broken and have managed to forge a shell of love around my child based on a life where i keep the world out. Truth be told i care little anymore ive become jaded. I am lucky to be able to write poetry in moments that portray deeper meaning than most ever feel...i pity those shackled to their servitude.
