Mental torture

I found something you could find useful neurodivergentrebel.com/.../

Shame is a big part...if i could get past it od be alot happier.

Guilt, shame, etc. can get stuck way beyond the point it makes any sense, usually because we don't learn to accept what has happened, or learn to let go and move on.  Hold onto the good things instead, let the bad things fade way.  Things will pop up again, but just observe instead of engaging.

Best thing is to do is accept whatever you feel shame about, apologise in your mind to yourself or other people, and then aim to avoid shame in the future - but if it happens, accept it and let it go, hold onto something good instead.

For me it always seemed i was searching for a release from reaponsibility but not in a way of lol im smarter than you. More like please dont make me i find it all very stressful and i dont react or seem to see society properly. So while i can be a nice person i feel like its strange. Is it acceptable to live the life i need or is that entitlement

a single thought about working did not occur to me until I was 25

1. It comes down to knowing ive always been a burden to the state. To others and on top of being 40 i feel like i saw life too innocently. I am some kind of work shy freak

it's probably a falsly installed in you belief

Autistic Rebel in one of her latest videos captured that issue nicely,

i don't think I could explain it 

Shame comes from feeling like we’ve done something wrong, or we aren’t good enough. However, often, these feelings can be imposed on us by outside forces, that determine what “socially acceptable” is.

If we go along with those beliefs to what “acceptable” is, then we are more vulnerable to shame.

You have to believe that you’ve done something unacceptable to feel shame. When you feel you have done something, or as a person, you yourself, are unacceptable in some way, it can cause you to feel humiliated.

it's probably a falsly installed in you belief

Autistic Rebel in one of her latest videos captured that issue nicely,

i don't think I could explain it 

Shame comes from feeling like we’ve done something wrong, or we aren’t good enough. However, often, these feelings can be imposed on us by outside forces, that determine what “socially acceptable” is.

If we go along with those beliefs to what “acceptable” is, then we are more vulnerable to shame.

You have to believe that you’ve done something unacceptable to feel shame. When you feel you have done something, or as a person, you yourself, are unacceptable in some way, it can cause you to feel humiliated.

For me it always seemed i was searching for a release from reaponsibility but not in a way of lol im smarter than you. More like please dont make me i find it all very stressful and i dont react or seem to see society properly. So while i can be a nice person i feel like its strange. Is it acceptable to live the life i need or is that entitlement

a single thought about working did not occur to me until I was 25

1. It comes down to knowing ive always been a burden to the state. To others and on top of being 40 i feel like i saw life too innocently. I am some kind of work shy freak