Help for Anxiety/Confidence Issues in Adult Son

He only has the one friend that he has grown really attached too, I really dread him going back to Poland cos this will really have an effect on my son. He just keeps hitting barriers and takes this personally. I try and tell him it isn't him, people come and go in life all the time, this is part of life but no amount of words will make him see this, not from me anyway, he thinks I am having a pop at him for caring for his friend. 

Give cbd oil a try I have anxiety myself and it helps, start with a low dose first 1-2 drops under the tongue there’s different types I use sativa, indica and hybrid, Indica makes you feel relaxed and helps with sleep so maybe the best choice, go to cbd brothers all info on there or Holland and Barrett. 

I'm the exact same way. Once I step outside the door, defense mode goes on and like you I also have a frown on my face. 'Resting *** face ' is what people call it. I always get extremely paranoid whenever I go out because I can feel people staring at me, judging me and I can hear people laughing and talking *** about me. I put that look on so people won't talk. Is that how it is for you as well?

One thing I noticed is that I'm extremely relaxed when I'm hanging out with friends, it lets my guard down and people see that. People can feel the vibes you put out. It's extremely hard but letting that guard down will let other people relax around you. But then again you don't owe them anything but your peace of mind! PM me if you need anything =)

You're welcome. I understand. I am only giving you food for thought as there are no quick fixes out there. I can see what you mean by wanting him to go through a doctor. This is all well and good and the help should be there in an ideal world but as many have experienced, especially with the pandemic, waiting times between 1-3 months or more are not unusual of a councillor becoming available. The number of sessions under the NHS may also be limited to a set number, say 8 for example. If this is not enough you may have to go private and change therapist which is an upset to many. With the NHS there may also be a choice or no choice of requesting a therapist with experience in Autism.

Personally, with his reluctance to see a doctor, I would suggest the private route of trying to find someone with Autism experience or at the very least, one who your son clicks with. You can ask if the first consultation session is free to see if they will be suitable. 

You could then gradually nudge him in the direction of some form of physical activity to manage any issues and of course, for health & wellbeing in the long-term. Also, as an Autistic person herself, Temple Grandin is a good source of advice for all things related to living with Autism. 

Thank you so much. It was on the psychologytoday page that he found himself a counsellor which is the one that hasnt got back to him. Its a tough one trying to get him to do anything that he hasn't done before so now he has decided on private counselling I don't want to knock his confidence by suggesting something else if you see what I mean. He just needs to speak with someone, tell him what he wants and then the options be given to him but he refuses point blank to go through a doctor which personally I think would be the best place to start to be honest.

Hi, You can find advice on finding the right therapy at the MIND website:  https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/drugs-and-treatments/talking-therapy-and-counselling/how-to-find-a-therapist/

Or you can browse various private therapists directly here and type in your area : https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/counselling/england You can search for the type of therapy you think you need and go into the profile of each therapist to see what they offer and what their experience or qualifications are. 

Some of the therapists will list what they specialise in which for some may include experience with Autism. 

CBT and talking therapy does help many people but there are also some who respond better to or alongside more holistic methods such as exercise, Yoga, Martial Arts, Swimming and group activities such as Drama classes, Music, Gardening etc etc. Whilst talking therapy maybe a good place to start, I think it is important to establish some physical practises for long-term health and wellbeing as the research and evidence for physical activity as therapy is in no doubt. For anxiety issues or even trauma it is now understood that some of the above activities are more effective than all the talking therapies and prescribed drugs combined. Yoga, Tai Chi and the like could be particularly helpful for anxiety issues as these movement practises give the user a sense of feeling safe and secure in their own bodies. 

I hope this helps.

You can buy edibles like gummies 

Thanks everyone, I will try to get him to try CBD oil but if it has a bad taste I dont think he will do it as he has a very simple gag reflex. What is really annoying is he has taken the steps to pay for help, which believe me is a massive step for him, and he has already been knocked back by one therapist and another hasnt come back to him. i want him to go through doctors but he just says no. He quite enjoyed the chats with Matthews Hub but unfortunately all the events they did where in his working time so he could never join anything online.

Give cbd oil a try I have anxiety myself and it helps, start with a low dose first 1-2 drops under the tongue there’s different types I use sativa, indica and hybrid, Indica makes you feel relaxed and helps with sleep so maybe the best choice, go to cbd brothers all info on there or Holland and Barrett. 

Hello, 

Depending on where you live you can self refer for support/therapy for anxiety. I know there's a waiting list but it will get the ball rolling. In the meantime, have you looked at Direct payments? He is entitled to a needs assessment and may be eligible for an allowance to employ a Personal Assistant that can support him to get out and about and build his confidence. You get all the support you need to find someone suitable.

My son is 20 and had a bad experience in college that really knocked his confidence. He got direct payments and employed someone to get him out and engaging in society again. He found places he likes to go and felt comfortable and within a few months didn't need support anymore. 

The thing with anxiety is you have to push through it but it doesn't have to be done alone. Small steps, even a walk around the local park for an hour, are small wins we celebrated.

I hope you find what works for you. He is lucky to have a loving supportive Mama.

Good luck 

Cognitive behaviour therapy is an effective way of dealing with anxiety, but the therapist needs to be aware of ASD, as CBT aimed at neurotypicals can be unhelpful.

Some autistics find that CBD as gummies - the oil on its own tastes fairly unpleasant - helps with anxiety. CBD is cannabidiol, it does not contain the psychotropic compounds that cause a cannabis high and is not addictive. It can be bought at places like Holland and Barrett and is entirely legal.