Feeling distant and detached from everything

NAS77179 said:

I wish I could tell them what I’m feeling and what I’m going through but I’m scared they’ll look at me a different way or just drop me in general.

Hi there,

I'm not sure if I'm on the spectrum or not as awaiting an assessment but I identify with many of the traits folks describe on here.  I'd like to reassure you that from my perspective this "dreamlike" state is pretty normal for me so that should help you not feel so alone in the feeling.  I'd say that I go through "numb" phases when something traumatic has happened or when I feel overwhelmed on the inside.  It's almost like an internal shutdown.  I think it's the body defence mechanism when emotions are not ready to be dealt with yet.  I understand that it can be scary to feel spaced out and dreamy but I have found that by trying to accept different states of mind, it lowers the intensity of each moment.  Acceptance is difficult but fighting what is happening for me makes everything more intense and more of a challenge to deal with.

Regarding friends, it's a risk that each person has to decide about taking or not.  I find it's a good thing to show your true vulnerable self because for me, it sheds the friendships who are not able to support you at that time and deepens the bonds with people who are able to be there for you as they know how it feels.  I always struggle with the "people don't like me" feeling and I had a lightbulb moment as to why this may be the case for me.  I'll share it incase it could help you and others.  I think people "don't like me" because I am not my true self with many people and I'm scared that people with not like/reject the part of myself I don't like/reject.  The non perfect parts that are difficult for me to deal with.  The thing I've realised though is that, by showing others the part of me I don't like and seeing that I am accepted builds friendships where I am my true self and respected for being authentic.  

This is the way I intend to live my life from now on, by being more honest about my struggles even if they seem endless because they are not the entirety of me, I have many other layers to define who I am.

Learning who you are is a very scary and confusing process but the fact you are reaching out here and being vulnerable is the first very brave step to uncovering what is the next step to take and to learning that you are very much part of a community of frightened and confused people who are doing a great job in their respective lives.

NAS77179 said:

I wish I could tell them what I’m feeling and what I’m going through but I’m scared they’ll look at me a different way or just drop me in general.

Hi there,

I'm not sure if I'm on the spectrum or not as awaiting an assessment but I identify with many of the traits folks describe on here.  I'd like to reassure you that from my perspective this "dreamlike" state is pretty normal for me so that should help you not feel so alone in the feeling.  I'd say that I go through "numb" phases when something traumatic has happened or when I feel overwhelmed on the inside.  It's almost like an internal shutdown.  I think it's the body defence mechanism when emotions are not ready to be dealt with yet.  I understand that it can be scary to feel spaced out and dreamy but I have found that by trying to accept different states of mind, it lowers the intensity of each moment.  Acceptance is difficult but fighting what is happening for me makes everything more intense and more of a challenge to deal with.

Regarding friends, it's a risk that each person has to decide about taking or not.  I find it's a good thing to show your true vulnerable self because for me, it sheds the friendships who are not able to support you at that time and deepens the bonds with people who are able to be there for you as they know how it feels.  I always struggle with the "people don't like me" feeling and I had a lightbulb moment as to why this may be the case for me.  I'll share it incase it could help you and others.  I think people "don't like me" because I am not my true self with many people and I'm scared that people with not like/reject the part of myself I don't like/reject.  The non perfect parts that are difficult for me to deal with.  The thing I've realised though is that, by showing others the part of me I don't like and seeing that I am accepted builds friendships where I am my true self and respected for being authentic.  

This is the way I intend to live my life from now on, by being more honest about my struggles even if they seem endless because they are not the entirety of me, I have many other layers to define who I am.

Learning who you are is a very scary and confusing process but the fact you are reaching out here and being vulnerable is the first very brave step to uncovering what is the next step to take and to learning that you are very much part of a community of frightened and confused people who are doing a great job in their respective lives.