Upcoming anxious event...

Hello everyone,

I'm interested in getting some new perspectives on my situation. I live with my autistic partner, who suffers from anxiety. We have a family member who needs to be taken to hospital next week, and since I will be away on holiday, my partner has to be the one to take him into the hospital. The family member is quite a non-compliant patient, and in the past there have been some quite stressful and dramatic episodes getting him to attend his appointments. My anxious partner is extremely worried about having sole responsibility for bringing the family member to hospital while I'm away.

Me and my partner have had conversations in the past about the division of labour in our relationship, and how his anxiety often means that I am the one who picks up the slack. I have quite a stressful job and have suffered from a stress-related illness over the past few years, so picking up this additional emotional labour is quite taxing for me, but in a much more subtle way than for my partner, whose anxiety is more immediate and obvious.

I really want to support my partner and understand how his anxiety affects him regarding the responsibility of taking care of this hospital visit. However, I am also finding it quite emotionally draining, and I feel like I need to manage not only our unwell family member, but also my partner's anxiety about the whole illness and hospital visit. I have tried to express this to my partner in a calm way, but I am worried that he will feel like he needs to bottle up his anxiety. I want him to know that he can come to me for support, but also make efforts to get some perspective on what he has to do regarding the hospital visit, and try to manage his anxiety, for his and everyone else's benefit.

If anyone has any advice on this, or wants to enlighten me on a better way of seeing/doing things, I'd be very keen on your support.

Thanks,

TC