Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone,
I have been looking into creating a "calm space" in an area of my bedroom. Somewhere to relax and unwind. This will hopefully replace my need to sleep every time I get home from work, which is messing up my already mixed up sleep. I was wondering if anyone else has created a space like this? What do you have in your space? I was thinking of lights, calm music, and things I can balance ( to focus breathing). Also I like items that I can make gentle sounds with. Would be really interested to know what everyone else uses/ does to manage their anxiety.
Have you found any particular strategies that work for you?
Thank you
I do intentional "stim sessions." I'd like to set up a chair in my bedroom but for now i just sit on my bed for them.
When my overwhelm begins to build, and ideally before I get to actual 'meltdown point,' I intentionally go to my bedroom. I turn off all the lights and close the door. I had previously blacked out as much window light as possible. It is quite dark.
I put my over the ear headphones on and pick a pre-made stim playlist (personal favs include Billie Eilish, 2Pac, and other moody but upbeat tracks). I hold a 'stimming brush' in each hand (I think they are actually called "corn brushes" or "therapy brushes.")
Then I just rock. I stroke my brushes. And I focus on *feeling my body.* FEEL all of that crap that is buzzing and swirling and harassing my body. Then, I snap into it somehow, and I just start cryyyying. The intensity of rushing emotion surges through my chest and my arms. I rock harder. I let myself cry out loud. I move all of the JUNK up and OUT of my body. Like if my body were vomiting up the overstimulation. I flap my arms or whatever movement is needed. I make noises. I let my self "dah dah dah," and "nah nah nah," repetitively, along with other noises. I might talk in jibberish. Whatever I feel expresses me in the moment. All while the music thumps. Whatever gets it Ouuuuuuttttt. I often intentionally think of things that are distressing me or are emotionally painful, as a trigger to pull up more gunk. The idea is to FEEL it, and move it all the way up and out. I am in a safe place, the feelings wont damage me. I WILL Survive them!!
When I've had a good purge, I might naturally begin to vibe to the music. Just hum or start to sing along. I start dancing/moving my hands and arms to the groove. I feel lighter. If I there is more within me that needs release, I may go back and forth between expelling the gunk and soothing myself with the music and peacefulness. Over time, my body begins to sooth so nicely. I begin to feel *majorly* relieved. I focus my thoughts onto gratitude. I bask in the good fortune of knowing about my autism, and the opportunity to learn how to manage myself more effectively. I imagine myself being joyful. I just embrace that I am in that free space.
Before long, I begin to sense that I am satisfied. That my task is complete. When I feel ready, I leave the room to reenter "life." I feel Soooo Much More Capable. Competent. Energized. Able to handle all the things. And the best part? I have dramatically reduced the likelihood that I will have an *uncontrolled* meltdown somewhere else that is *not* so safe. Like in front of others or in public.
This is truly the most impactful skill I have been learning. I hope it might help someone here. :-)
Thank you so much for Sharing your strategies BiteyMite. I never thought of just stimming in a quiet safe place, I've spent forever trying to prevent myself from doing it publicly. I have a selection of noises I like to make also, particularly clicking with my tongue and roof of mouth. I'm going to try this also, sounds like a great release for my pent up emotions. Thank you!
The thought of it has got me so excited I've started my silent hand clapping.
Yea! I hope it helps you. You can try out different things within it and find what is helpful to you. I personally love the dark and the feeling of being in a "void" that it creates.