Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone,
I have been looking into creating a "calm space" in an area of my bedroom. Somewhere to relax and unwind. This will hopefully replace my need to sleep every time I get home from work, which is messing up my already mixed up sleep. I was wondering if anyone else has created a space like this? What do you have in your space? I was thinking of lights, calm music, and things I can balance ( to focus breathing). Also I like items that I can make gentle sounds with. Would be really interested to know what everyone else uses/ does to manage their anxiety.
Have you found any particular strategies that work for you?
Thank you
Everyone finds different things calming, so I don't think I can help with the specifics, but, at a hight level, I analyse the cause of the anxiety, research possible permanent solutions/avoidance methods and then plan a route out of those anxiety causing environments or situations, permanently.
This takes me to a better place long term and leads, almost immediately, to a higher tolerance for the causes of those anxieties as I am taking positive steps toward removing them and they are now quantitatively short term problems that I have a plan to eliminate.
Coping mechanisms are only useful if they provide long term solutions and don't just paper over the cracks.
I don't know if this helps, but I hope so. You are stronger than you think.
Thank you Seanado, that really does help. And you're right, there is no point in papering over the cracks. I need to find the causes and then address them. Silly question, do you have a starting point I could use. Everything seems too much at the moment.
I find that there are usually a number of events that come together at once to trigger me. They happen insidiously, without me noticing and it is the combined weight of them all that finally sends me over the edge without me realising I've been ambushed.
It's critical to analyse what each of these causes are (I often write a list) and consciously ask yourself if they are worth being depressed about by themselves. The answer is nearly always 'no'. If that is the case then you do have to take the conscious step of saying "Then this is all in my head and it doesn't matter". Then you can confidently focus on something more positive.
If any of them are worth being depressed about then it's time to start evaluating the long term roadmap to their total elimination - unless one of them is a person...then I recommend getting someone else to do the dirty work ;)
Bottom line: a list gives you perspective rather than just the unquantified 'feeling' of depression and tells you what to address or what to rationally ignore so you can do something more empowering.
Thank you so much again Seanado, I really appreciate your time and wisdom. I never know what triggers me, it always seems unprovoked, but there must be a reason, even if I can't see it. I will start writing things down, and hopefully I will notice a pattern. As with problem people, I think I will leave it to karma to do my dirty work.