Published on 12, July, 2020
I’ve got some questions, maybe someone’s got the answers.
I’ve tried to improve my mood. First by taking st.john’s wort and when it didn’t work I tried 5-htp. It didn’t work. Maybe the dose was too low, maybe I should double/triple it.
I have generally low mood (but some days better, some days worse) and I have an anxiety. Anxiety is ruining my life.
It’s not a new issue and I’ve tried CBT and counselling which didn’t help.
NHS CBT was completely useless.
Recently I’ve talked to someone about suicide and they said that it would be worth if I talk to GP and take some medication.
But I’m not sure.
I’m not at imminent risk. I know I might kill myself in the future but I’m not going to do it yet. It’s just an option if the life is too much.
I’ve chosen the method and the thought is comforting.
The thought that I’ve got the way out and that I’m prepared.
But I’m not going to kill myself yet.
I have small children and I’m not going to cause trauma to my children. They are not ready to deal with that.
I’ve been having recurring suicidal thoughts for years.
I’ve never mentioned them in therapy because I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it and I was afraid how they might react.
And now to my questions.
Should I go to GP?
Will they tell anyone?
Are they going to make a big deal out of it?
Or maybe ignore me?
Maybe it’s not worth mentioning at all?
Will I be sent to CBT again?
Offered medication?
Can I choose medication or therapy?
What about side effects of medication?
I’m worried about side effects.
Ladybird said:And now to my questions. Should I go to GP? Will they tell anyone? Are they going to make a big deal out of it? Or maybe ignore me? Maybe it’s not worth mentioning at all? Will I be sent to CBT again? Offered medication? Can I choose medication or therapy? What about side effects of medication? I’m worried about side effects.
Oh my friend, I feel your pain!
Yes you should go to our GP, and they should rightfully be very worried for you. They won't tell anyone in your family or peer group if you don't want and they will most likely refer you to their crisis team. This is a really Good Thing. They will not ignore you. Yes it's worth mentioning! No, they won't send you for a therapy that clearly has been tried and doesn't work. Probably offered medication, yes, definitely worth trying anyway - I'm not amazing by any stretch but citalopram means I function at all. It's not either/or. You should be offered both. In an ideal world you'd be referred directly to psychiatry but it ain't - so you won't. They'll say take xyz drug (best in GP's experience usually) and given a way to get talking therapies, you will have a choice. Medications side-effects are weird, multiple and varied - you have to try to find out. This is not always a bad thing. My lucky husband was given one that made him permenantly stoned. He loved it but couldn't work so he had to change to another one. I got lucky - citalopram works. I went onto fluoxetine for a while but it did nowt at all for me so I changed to a higher dose of citalopram again. I'm going onto venlafaxine at some point soon, so that'll be fun .
It's a guessing game really so there's gonna be some trial and error but under UK law you're protected under the DDA if you're under medical care for a psychiatric condition so it's not something you need to worry about *too* much as long as you keep your employer informed.