Hi I think I have Asperger's syndrome.

Hi,

My name is Gary and I am 45 years old. About 18 months ago I had a pericarditis or an infection of the heart lining. It was caused by over-work and stress in my opinion. Then September last year, it was suggested to me from 3 different people which was a bit weird that I had Aspergers symdrome. I took a few online test and scored quite highly and it did tick a lot of boxes to problems and successes I have had in my life. Especially the obsessive nature I have with very specific topics. I went to doctors, didn't bring up the AS but the problems I was having. She got me to fill in a few tests and I scored high on the AS test again. I was referred but since that time I have had no word. My doctor is looking into it.

At the moment I feel a bit lost with it all, apart of me says just forget it as I have lived with this for quite a long time and in life I think I am doing ok. Equally, however in other parts of my life I doing quite badly, so that part of me wants to find out more. Figure out the rules and structures, so I can figure this all out. But since knowing I have noticed I get a lot of panic attacks and at times I can make them worse by obsessively doing things I know will bring them on. Sort of a shout for help but being a rather private people I end up masking it all. So it worries me that I could go down the same route I did 18 months ago and it seriously affecting my health.

The main reason I want to find out more is that I am now married with two children (Megan (7) and Rebecca (3)). Now Megan is showing signs but we are not sure, so taking a step at the time. It does worry me, how I can be at times and then looking after my children. I generally keep a handle on it as the priority of looking after them keeps me on track. I still worry I might slip.

So here I am looking for a bit of advice. Of what to do next? 

Hope this makes some sort of sense.

Many thanks in advice for any help.

Regards

Gary