Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello
Excuse what will probably be a dis-jointed intro. My name is Helen and I have a 14yr old son who is autistic. Since he was very little I always knew there was something a little different about him but it wasn't until I went through a very horrid and painful divorce when Ben was 3 that I was able to start noticing issues and look into things. When Ben went to school he continually got into trouble and teachers started to mention Autism and ADHD, Camhs got involved and put everything Ben was experiencing down to the divorce. To cut a very long and very painful story short it took 8yrs before Camhs tested Ben and diagnosed him as autistic.
By this time Ben has become a very angry, depressed, confused boy who detests the thought that he may think about and see the world in a different way, he wants nothing more to be like everyone else but everytime he tries to be like everyone it goes wrong and he ends up acting inappropriately. We are waiting for Camhs to arrange some resolution therapy but have been waiting for months now and I am sat watching my beautiful son retract further into himself in a perfect storm of anger and depsression and feel so helpless.
Sorry for using this intro as some kind of depressing diary but feel so out on a limb.
Thanks for listening.
Helen
Hi Helen,
I have just joined this site, as I am looking for advice and support too.
My son is 11 years old and we have recently had a referral to CAMHS, my husband and I both believe our son is on Autistic Specrtum, we have the support of the Headmaster at school also. Our GP's initial referral to CAMHS was declined, until we submitted it again, with a letter from School and also a supporting letter from us documenting meltdowns and incidents. The day the letter came in offering us a CAMHS appointment, I cried my eyes out. Our son was seen by a Psychologist at his initial appointment, around a month ago, and she has decided to submit him for a Clinician appointment, whch, we have been told will be where they decide if they are fowarding him to be assessed for Autism. The waiting list for this is currently 7 months.
We are in a postion where we have a child who has such high anxiety, at school he is a model pupil with his behaviour, he saves up his anger and meltdowns for here at home where he feels safe, since Thursday of last week we have had a horrendous time, we had been away on holiday, and I expected there to be a fallout from this, as we have become aware of "trigger points" causing these meltdowns. I had to speak to CAMHS yesterday, as no appointment has been received as yet, they also let me speak to the "Duty Response Team" who gave me some advise.
I too feel I am drowing, watching my beautiful boy struggle, he cannot control his anxiety, or his anger. His self esteem is low and I feel close to breaking.
You are not alone.
Angie
Thanks Angie, it does help to know others are going through the same issues as it is the loneliest most helpless place I have ever been in. I am home now as Ben got a 1 day exclusion from school and so far he has smashed another door, trashed his bedroom and broken his prized xbox controller. I now have a 5'9" boy swaddled in a duvet in a dark room crying and wishing no-one cared about him so he could just hide forever and I have absolutely no idea on how to make anything better for him.Think all I can do is keep loving him and then disappear into my room and cry into a pillow.
It is not easy at all.
CAMHS suggested I look at this site, which I am very glad I did. It help knowing others are going through the same thing.
We have had the trashing of my sons bedroom too, he also throws all bedding into the upper hall, smashed up his fav football team stadium replica, and once he has calmed down, he has no understanding why he did it.
I have had to take a few days off work due to the issues we have had since last Thursday, to try and sort out CAMHS, speak to school and catch up on sleep, as over 3 days I managed about 4 hours sleep.
My son will also sob uncontrollably after a meltdown, and it is heartbreaking to hear and see.
I hope you are ok.
I'm here if you need a chat.