Published on 12, July, 2020
My son was diagnosed with autism back in may. I explained my thoughts on ADHD also and was told this would be a separate assessment as it wasn't brought to their attention. Anyway my sons anger is now getting worse by the day. He is consistently having meltdown after meltdown. I've been threatened with a knife. Bitten so hard I'm left with bruises. Kicked. Punched. You name it. My sons biggest problem is my husband and myself being anywhere near each other. He is currently sleeping in our room as can no longer share with his adult brother. His sister has a baby with her in her room so no choice but to be in our room. Now we are not allowed to hold hands, kiss,cuddle or anything without him getting seriously angry and lashing out at me. It's always my fault????. He doesn't sleep well. He will sit up in bed watching us till he falls asleep. He will shout at us if we was to talk to each other. I'm ordered to face the wall and not my husband or he will kick off for ages. We have been woken up in the night from him screeching cause one of us has cuddled up to the other. We have recently come back from holiday which he ruined cause he was screaming all day and night. We wasn't even allowed in the pool together. Needless to he has now killed our marriage. We have been with each other over 20 years but with no intimacy or not even being able to have a conversation without him always being there it has ruined us. He is by my side consistently. I'm not even allowed in the same room as my husband if my son isn't there as well. I'm just at my wits end. My husband is on anti depressants and I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I just don't know what to do for the best? I just want my lovely little boy back.
Hi NAS23394,
People with an autism spectrum disorder diagnosis can often display behaviour that may be challenging. There will generally be a reason for this and it is important to try and understand the trigger for the behaviour when developing strategies.
Please see the following link for further information on behaviour and strategies:
http://www.autism.org.uk/living-with-autism/understanding-behaviour.aspx
We also have a page on our website that centres around physical challenging behaviour. This page features discussions about the possible causes, as well as strategies and interventions for improving behaviour: http://www.autism.org.uk/about/behaviour/challenging-behaviour/physical.aspx.
The National Autistic Society also have behaviour guidelines which can be found below:
* Behaviour guidelines for children with ASDs:
http://www.autism.org.uk/about/behaviour/guidelines.aspx
http://www.autism.org.uk/about/behaviour.aspx
You may want to seek professional support regarding the behaviour. You can search for professionals in your area on the Autism Services Directory: www.autism.org.uk/directory.aspx
Next, the following link provides information on getting help from social services:
http://www.autism.org.uk/living-with-autism/benefits-and-community-care.aspx
The National Autistic Society also provides services which may be of help: http://www.autism.org.uk/our-services.aspx
Finally, the Autism Helpline can provide information and advice on behaviour and strategies. Please see the following link for further information: http://www.autism.org.uk/our-services/advice-and-information-services/autism-helpline/specialist-services.aspx. The organisation Young Minds http://www.youngminds.org.uk/, who are the UK's leading charity regarding children and young people's mental health and wellbeing, also have a helpline. This helpline offers confidential support to anyone concerned about the emotional problems or behaviour of a child or young person. Their Helpline number is 0808 802 5544.
If you have any questions about the above please don't hesitate to ask them. Additionally, a member of the community may respond to your post with their own personal insights, advice or information.
Best wishes,
Nellie-Mod