Might it be autism?

I feel it's great to be able to join this site, and share about my experiences, I am sure other people will have had similar experience.  I have done some training in autism and read stuff about it.  But my main qualification I suppose is my story..

When I was younger I was in a psychiatric unit for children with secure and enduring mental health problems.  At that time I believe that the citeria for autism was much more narrow.  People who would now be classed as severely classical autism where diagnosed or savant autistic.  After the death of my grandfather and at the age of 11 I started to experience tics, which was a part later I found out of Tourettes Syndrome, which I had not be diagnosied with.  Often people who have autism have co-mordid conditions such as other mental health problems but not always.  At that time it was believed that you couldn't have other conditions and autism which is not true.  Now more research has shown.  The tourettes syndrome caused tics which seemed to get a lot worse after my grandfathers death, personally I believe it was the stress of the bereavement.

After that things settled down until I was 13 growing up and mainly being bullied at school I suffered from deliberately panic attacks, and started getting more obsessional about things.  I was admitted to a psychiatric unit, and put in isolation.  I felt very sad, about being locked up in a unit, and where staff would restrain people on the floor.  Other people were violent, during isolation I felt safer because I was concerned about other inmates attacking me.  It was like a prision not really a hospital we did some art but we did work in the kitchen and cleaning work there.  I was then discharged and returned to school.  I had a support teacher and got on with her, she was a nice lady and her husband had been in the army.  We did a lot of sports and I trusted her.  After school I joined a voluntary organisation where I worked in an office.

After they couldn't get me a job, and working in a library, I was admitted to Barnet psychiatric unit, where I was sedated with powerful medications such as antipsychotics and antidepressants.  I was difficult to admit but I had become a drug addict.  I was addicted to many transqualiser and other drugs.  During that time, I found an organisation called Turning point who offered support services.  I went to a number of complimentary therapies and did meditation.  I did a lot of reading, prayer, therapy and meditation, this was when I was in my twenties, and I met a friend who also had the same sort of issues as me that is obsessional behaviours.  Looking back he was most likely autistic too. 

After I left the psychology at Edgware I then moved to Sussex, moving from London to Hastings.  It seemed exciting, but scarey.  Things would be different, but the community mental health team were concerned I wouldn't get the support I need there.  I was alienated in London, I was harassed and stalked and the Police had become increasly concerned about me.  It seemed things were getting from back to worse.  After I went to Sussex, my tormentor contacted me on the phone, I thought he is coming here now, I will need to contact the Police.  I changed my phone and was about to avoid him.  I returned to London however he did not harass me anymore.

After that crisis with the stalking, it started from working in a sheltered work shop, I met a young man who was interested in developing a relationship with me, although I did not appreciate his romantic intentions towards me he continued to call, pester follow and harass me, using emotional manipulation.  He would call out to me on the bus and follow me to bus stops and harass me in the canteen.  Not only was he a stalker, he was completely infatuated with me, I felt threatened and in danger.  It was a relieve to leave the area for a fresh start.  I felt sorry for him and showed him, empathy, compassion and kindness, I would listen to his problems.  He misinterruptated my sympathy and as a result I suffered from ongoing stalking and harassment.

When I become aware of the situation I told the mental health team, and I had contact with the Police after wards.  Things got better, and I also did start to feel better.  I found myself alone in Sussex, with no friends.  I lived in a shared house.  Things got worse and my anxieties increased, my psychiatrist suggested I might be autistic and it was diagnosed.  It seemed obvious it was autism.  For years in Potters Bar I had been treated with medication for paranoid schizophrenia.  They calmed me down and helped me sleep, but I wasn't like that.  I really think they need to know paranoia can be a sign of autism.  Anyway, this psychiatrist was knowledgable and good about that.  So I was on some medications but he gave me the option of not taking the medication.  I noticed with out the medication the tics reduced.  My tics continued but I used EFT, and medication, and nutritional therapy with some success at managing my tics.  I feel these things overlap autism. 

There was a time in my life when I felt very ashamed about autism but now it's fine, autism is nothing to be ashamed of.  Autism is not an illness, it is you, like a person who is black, or Asian it's neurodiversity not an illness.  For me, being a nerd or someone very interested in maths and science I'm just a walking sterotype is fine.  Making people NORMAL is not making people well.  It has nothing to do with health it is a political and social construct.  So I think autistic people can do jobs, anything they like.  Don't call autism an illness or disability it is not it is a condition more than that.  Everyone is different, and that's okay lets work at being fine with neurodiversity.  There is no cure for autism there never will be a cure and it's impossible, is that depressing NO it's great cause autism is not an illness.  But what can we do, to help people let them explore their special interest why even call it a special interest how patronising it's a passion.  Why not embrance and accept people as they are.  Some of the most brilliant minds were most likely autistic Einstien, Mozart, so whilst autism can bring some impairments it also can bring us brilliant music, art, science.  SO when you hear someone has autism don't say awe poor you, and that cause it might be another Einstien your talking too.  Self pity and pity for others is one of the most poisonous things on the planet.  Maybe they are brilliant in some things I personally believe autistic people can often have an edge than neurotypicals in attention to details.  SO why not let people be themselves, yes I am different and that's okay cause everyone is different.