Published on 12, July, 2020
Hey everyone (I'm new here!)So I'm in the last stage of getting diagnosed. I've done the testing and now I'm waiting two more weeks to go back and get my results. It's driving me crazy with overthinking and reliving it!!I'm 27 years old female and I spent my life selectively mute and masking my personality, which makes me worried that the doctor will not be able to properly "read" me. I'm skeptic that in just 3 visits someone can understand me enough to properly diagnose me... people that have know me for years still don't understand me! I'm also worried that I did too well on the tests and will appear too clever or too smart. For example, I'm an artist/animator so I was able to come up with a simple problem/resolution story rather easily during the story test. The tests didn't seem hard- were they suppose to be hard? I know that the tests are not merely about my answers, but also about my behavior, but what if I sat there completely stiff with hands out of sight? I'm just concerned that I didn't appear "autistic enough". Whatever that means. Gah! Did anyone else have these concerns??If anyone can give me a bit of reassurance, that would be nice. I feel like for the first time in my life I'm discovering something really important about myself, but I'm afraid that it will get stolen from me if I don't get an ASD diagnosis. I've done so much soul searching over my life trying to figure myself out and how to belong and it will be a HUGE disappointment if I yet again am "rejected". Thanks in advance. <3
Hi Han and welcome to the forum.
I received my diagnosis this year after almost a 2 year process ending with the same sit down assessment as you. I had taken my partner along, as they reccomended taking someone who knows me well. I did not realise they were not just assessing my answers, but body language and eye contact as well. Near the end the Dr mentioned my erratic eye contact, and asked me how many air vents were in the floor in the room to which I told him. He asked quite a few things about the room, all of which I had taken in. He had noticed I was not moving my hands a lot and asked me about it, but as part of my work I have taken a presentation skills course, in which I had been told all of my 'ticks' so I had interlinked my fingers to prevent this.
I was sure I was going to be told I was fine, as I have managed for yeas to not let people notice, but to the trained eye it is a lot more obvious.
I am sure you do not need to panic, and whatever the outcome there should be a support system to help or guide you in moving forward!
We all have our fingers crossed! And if you need to vent, thats what the forum is for! Good luck
I, usually, do not look in the eyes when listening someone and especially when I am talking myself. Would that be a problem?
If there is not something I like to look at, then I stare randomly.
Most ASD people struggle with eye contact, and even when there is eye contact it is not prolonged and erratic, so this is something that should be picked up during an assessment
I would think you did an initial test by yourself, then a more official test either with your GP, or a member of an Austistic Diagnostic Service (Names vary all over uk) who would then judge you eligable for going forward to a more detailed assessment and potantial diagnosis. The process has many steps as they do not have the budget to fully assess everybody (Sad but true) so they weed out cases that do not fit certain criteria. If you have had the final assessment you would have been deemed as potantially having an ASD, so its just down to the results. Keep your chin up! Yes you are probably overthinking it, but I would predict everyone on the forum who has been in your situation did the same thing! I know I overthink everything!