Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all divorced father suffering with hereditary spastic paralysis life has been quite tough married a america met online divorced lost house lived at parents saw the council to get living accommodation son of 10 is in a bit of a state his regular patten changes when he comes to my parents is quite hard all the time he is quite rude tom a point of being quite sexual towards me does not seem to stop would this be because we are living apart? was diagnosed about 4 to 5 years ago mildy autistic with my illness I have to use a walking stick with makes it quite hard for me with my son when I am with him thanks
I am the father of a severely autistic son now aged 36.who needs 2 carers 24 x 7 Currently us his unpaid Family Carers of Last resort..
I can understand it has been very tough for you with the problems listed over 2 years ago.
I am assuming you are your son's mother. from your concern about your son's sexual obsessions.
He is presumed to have developed any sexual behaviours from interactions with others where he spends the Time when not in your care.
My Autistic son did not have residential schooling, but he still learned some bad Habits like flicking somebody to cause pain.without leaving marks, obviously having been done to him by somebody.
As my son lives in a bizarre cartoon world, and related to cartoons as a means of communication, he developed inappropriate touching.to get a bizarre reaction and performance. This seemed to have been directed towards female carers/ teachers.. However in his Case it was never sexual to our knowledge because we simply have never encouraged any form of "Normalised Sexual education". There may have been some in school, but we were never told of any.
As he obviously developed with Puberty he got some self taught sexual relief, at about the indicated age of your son. This has seemingly stopped.
At one stage the Council Social Services Nurse directed us to getting a dvd for handicapped persons all about sex. When examined it was obvious to teach him about having sex with females would be fraught with danger.for a self obsessed severely autistic person with learning difficulty.
But willfully not getting any help in his latter school years as prelude to then being abandoned as off the books by our Local Council, until the attacks he was making on both myself and my wife ultimately causing complete breakdowns in all of our healths, only then was the Council prepared to start helping us when he was 26 years old. Up until then he had had no medication, where as today he has Risperidone prescribed., this mutes his agitation.. But we are always wary of being attacked, even when he is being given a friendly hug, He has been obsessed wit trying to attack my wife to get his hand inside her mouth, presumably as shown by Homer Siimpson strangling Bart simpson;s getting his tongue extend out of his mouth..
So you always have to be careful, because an autistic person will constantly push at the boundary of the normality envelope.that surrounds us all.
With some like artists this is a benefit, but for caring for an autistic person, Then Normality is predictable and non Threating.
I suggest that you see your doctor and discuss the problems you are having with your son.
You are fortunate in that your son is still treated a a child by social services.
As well as seeing your Doctor, you should see your local Citizens Advice Centre, They may be able to direct you to Legal aid, and a specialist Social Services clued up solicitor, for yourself, and perhaps on behalf of your son, I think you should be getting help, It may be that by seeing your son every weekend eventually with help, you should be eligible for Carer's allowance, but you need specialists in social care.to advice you..
Please read the gentlemans post "hi all divorced father" why assume it would only be the mother concerned?
Please try and make a positive comment in relation to this Gentleman's problem. I would have preferred for another to have given positive advice, having seen the Fathers post from being made just 19 minutes earlier.and considered it and seeing nobody else responding days later. I state clearly my assumptions and give the reasons for that assumption. It did not matter one bit whether it was Mother or Father., or that they, or the Child were mildly autistic. What mattered was that a sexually precocious male child aged 10 two years ago and still today was obsessed with sex with his handicapped Parent and was abusive as well. ie out of Control. It raises questions best answered as I suggest,.seeing his Doctor to start the ball rolling....
Sorry I freely admit when I'm wrong as I don't know everything. I don't always want to be right but your inability to admit error is also indicative behaviour
But really pot, kettle black?
You are trying to drive this post in repetitious circles.
If you do not realise this, this is indicative of recognisable behaviours, where you must be right.
I have no wish to engage in this manner, however entertaining it may be.
My advice to the originator of this 2yr old post as above and continued elsewhere as a new posting still stands. It is the offered with the knowledge gained after 36 years of dealing with a n Autistic son, and still doing so, and meeting official resistance, or obscuration all the time; and still currently doing so.
Point one you make I can't be 100% but the post I replied to was above this so would mean it was newer but I could be wrong on that.
Second point you are correct it is not the first time I have criticised your posts and by the same token it is not the first time others have either. The reason for my criticism is that again it is not the first time you have incorrectly read someone's post and based a response on something you misread. So yeah I pointed out that you misread somethig.
As for my criticism of your other posts most of those have been when you are giving outdated information to parents and as I have said having an autistic child in the 80's and 90's was entirely different to now. I have also praised and agreed with a few of your heartfelt supportive posts I don't diminish what you as an unpaid carer of last resort has gone through but some parents are different
If you read the fathers post above he responded here 3 days ago, " NAS23793 3 days ago in reply to QuirkyFriend" , probably before the post you indicate..
This is not the first time that you have criticised my posts.