Hello from a mother to recently diagnosed ASD 10 year old

Thank you for your replies, I do feel alone sometimes and I do think hormones are making things worse too. It's taken the best part of 3 years for CAMHS to give a final diagnosis, they've been doing the watchful waiting thing and only ended up doing the full ADOS assessment after the school kept excluding her - but it really is ASD (well Asperger's but its all ASD now apparently).

The main problem we have is that she presents as a 'Veruca Salt' type child as she is very loud and says whatever is on her mind, and never backs down if someone confronts her on what she says, if it gets pushed too far her behaviour is really extreme. Even after the diagnosis a member of teaching staff at her school told me that he though the diagnosis was wrong and she probably had personality disorder with entrenched behaviour :-(  I know that is absolutely ridiculous but its the kind of thing we're faced with all the time, some staff at the school seem supportive but I always have a nagging doubt that maybe its all my fault somewhere along the line and thats what they think too, this sort of comment completely floors me and I'm really struggling now - I thought a final diagnosis would somehow make things better but it would seem nothing changes.

I am booked onto the first session of the autism awareness course this week so hoping that may help to clarify things, it helps to know that other parents are going through the same, is anyone else struggling with peoples perceptions of girls behaviours and I suppose, it is discrimination against them :-(

That teacher is a bloody idiot amature psychologist using Daily Mail as his source material.

Personality Disorders can only be diagnosed in adults. Personality is not fixed until a child is fully grown 

If he ever says that again get busy making a formal complaint for him making statements out of complete ignorance he's  not qualified to make. Make the reparation for his stupidity that he has to attend a course on autism!

The outspoken "speaker on" kid is hard to deal with. One thing that can work is to be dramatic when what she says is hurtful (acting out being stabbed in the heart) so she starts becoming aware of the impact.

There is a great book TA for kids that might help too. 

That teacher is a bloody idiot amature psychologist using Daily Mail as his source material.

Personality Disorders can only be diagnosed in adults. Personality is not fixed until a child is fully grown 

If he ever says that again get busy making a formal complaint for him making statements out of complete ignorance he's  not qualified to make. Make the reparation for his stupidity that he has to attend a course on autism!

The outspoken "speaker on" kid is hard to deal with. One thing that can work is to be dramatic when what she says is hurtful (acting out being stabbed in the heart) so she starts becoming aware of the impact.

There is a great book TA for kids that might help too. 

Our SD16 has ASD and she dissociates with anxiety.

We are trying to get some proper therapy and won't discount the potential need for medication given her family history.

I'm guessing because the school has a negative view of her she's getting more and more wound up and then tips over into anger.

It may not be possible but you may wish to consider a school move if they don't start recognising she's a child with special needs.

Thank you! That particular teacher is a total eejit, still makes you question yourself though. I shall try the overly dramatic response though - generally she doesn't seem to care about any impact on others, she thinks she's always right and we all deserve to be told :-(

Oddly enough when the 'extreme' behaviour does occur (kicking teachers, recking rooms etc) she never admits to remembering anything - is this common too?

Thank you again!