arrival

You are very welcome.

I think that, with Aspergers or High Functioning Autism, these early teenage years can be when differences can become the most prounounced, and when parents can begin to see the 'gap in certain skills' appearing and widening alarmingly. More so than ever before sometimes.

As other young people begin to put away the toys and games of their childhood and seek other avenues of satisfaction and entertainment, such as through relationships, friendships, socialising, clothes, music etc, our young NDs can be left behind, in what can seem to be a 'no mans land,' at this stage. Which is very heartbreaking for parents to watch, however, it is not always necessarily as devastating for the young person themselves, who may not be at all interested or want to join in with the things their NT friends are doing.

So, I think its important to do your best to accept the very different and unique developmental trajectory each individual child is on, and try to play to their strengths as best and as often as you can, and to support the young person with positively pursuing the things that interest them.

thanks for the unexpected reply......I have passed it on to the parents......online safety is also a major concern so thanks for the link.....there are many issues in this young persons life .......teenage years for anyone are challenging enough on their own and to have those years compounded by an autistic spectrum condition creates further challenges for both the youngster and for those who love him and who feel lacking in the professional expertise to meet the challenges in the most helpful way.....thanks again

Hi Stray,

I don’t personally know of any camps but local Autism Charities sometimes offer weekly youth clubs which might be worth checking out as, even though your young person is high functioning, an ASD Youth Club would be more supportive and understanding of their social and communication needs than a regular youth club. Have a look about to see what Autism charities are offering in your local area.

I tend to have a very positive view about gaming and I would personally tread very gently before labelling something a (negative) obsession when it could simply be a (positive) passionate interest, although I do appreciate that too much of anything can be harmful. However, if your young person is having a hard time with school, family and friends, online gaming may currently be offering him a real lifeline, a means of safely escaping an otherwise difficult reality that he is currently facing in his real life.  

I have been told of the benefits of online gaming so many times by so many young people with ASD. They tell me that online gaming gives them a real sense of accomplishment and achievement when they meet aims, progress their gaming levels and achieve objectives in their games. This can really boost their self-esteem, particularly if in other areas of their life, such as at school, they may be failing at tasks being set.

The regimented nature of the games too is often also experienced really positively by young people with ASD. ASD young people can often struggle with unstructured free time and can find it hard to make their own entertainment and therefore computer games can offer a welcome relief from these pressures too. The games tend to have clear rules, clear methods and clear objectives, all of which are often experienced as relaxing and a much needed break from the relentless, stressful, and often overwhelming unwritten rules and confusing hidden agendas of real life. I have lost count of the times I have been told by young people with ASD that they wish real life were more like a PC game, ‘logical, simple and completely comprehensible.’

Online gaming also allows many young people to talk to other people which they may not otherwise feel able to do face to face. The game itself often provides a shared interest and a specific focus for their conversation which they might otherwise struggle to have with other young people their age in real life. In addition, because it’s not face to face communicating, conversations online are often more direct, straightforward, and are therefore far less threatening and less dependent on the confusing hidden social rules that conversations in real life invariably contain. My thoughts being that it is better that he communicate with other people online than not communicate or talk to others at all.

In my experience, stopping a child playing computer games does not necessarily improve their ability or willingness to engage with others in the real world as both activities require different skills, the latter of which the young person may not have or has not yet fully grasped. What might be lovely could be if the parents learn to play the games too, so they can share in their child’s interests. 

It is equally highly possible that the skills this young man is demonstrating during his gaming may well lead to a very fruitful career in future life, such as coding. I would therefore always try to work positively and supportively with whatever interests a young person has.

One of the biggest concerns I would have would be to ensure that he is fully aware of online safety. Here is a link to the NSPCC who have lots of resources about keeping kids safe online that his parents might want to share with him.

 https://www.nspcc.org.uk/preventing-abuse/keeping-children-safe/online-safety/

Best of luck.

I have a young relative of thirteen, diagnosed as having high functioning autism.....very bright but having real difficulties with school, family and society in general and all pervaded by an all consuming obsession with online gaming .....we were wondering if there existed any form of professionally supported camps, activities, communities, where he would be away from screen activities but learning to better develop his social skills and experience other realities in a professionally supported environment