Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, I'm Charlie.
I went for a private diagnosis yesterday 4/4/17 at the age of 24. My whole family and partner of 5 years attended and we spoke with a consultant and doctor for around 4 hours!
I have to admit, it was my mother who suggested I might be autistic but I always shrugged it off because I felt like I was nothing like autistic people that I had seen through media or social gathering. The majority of people I had seen were male and I genuinely had no idea that it shows in women differently. So when I sat down i was very sceptical but I kept an open mind.
In the end I think we all had our ideas about what autism is broadened by what we were told and a lot of the things I considered to be completely "normal" were actually pretty different compared to the rest of my family, such as thought patterns and reactions to various sensual stimuli.
It seems that a lot of my difficulties make so much more sense to me now and my family seem to realise that a lot of things I did in my past especially dring childhood is far more explainable with this diagnosis.
Im not really sure what else to say or if writing all this out is of any help or use to anyone? I do not feel that I look or act Autistic (In a non-offensive way) So I am also pretty scared that people who have initially the same experiances as I used to think from lack of knowledge will not believe me.
Please feel free to give me a bit of advice or comfort. I really feel strange.
Hi Charlie
Be reassured that everything you are is normal, normal for an autistic person. And thats a perfectly valid normal. The diagnostic process can make you feel pathologised and abnormal and it will take some time to get over that.
I would agree with Starstruck that you should be careful who you tell. For me the diagnosis was a new beginning, a relief and the removal of a burden. I rushed to tell others, certain that they would be as pleased as me. Not so, some disbelieved, some wanted to 'cure' me, some were aghast and others horrified. I lost some friends and became more distant from others. I would not tell anyone who does not absolutely need to know. And I wouldn't tell your employer yet, if you have one.
You are very welcome to our tribe and I really hope that a fuller knowledge of what and who you are will enrich your life and make you happier. Remember that we define ourselves and our identity does not belong to the medical profession but to us.