Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, I'm a UK-educated 41-y-o foreigner who, I think, now has an autistic child in his family, in its care. I use the word "think" because she is only 1.4 months old and doctors where I live don't diagnose autism, nor even closely aware of this condition. Yet, my observations and tons of information I've read online leave me no room for much optimism that the traits I already see will smooth out. I have decided to join this page and forum because we have no such website in my own country and the UK is the country where I studied and lived for some time. I'm open for discussions and exchange of experience with any parent or carer who has had an autistic child and me and my family who take care of our little, lovely girl need much psychological, moral support that we don't know how to get. Please, write to me anyone.
All I can say is: Everything changes. Don't be terrified.
The child support centre. This sounds like a plus; a place to start.
Again, without knowing the country you are in I cannot do more research and perhaps find something for you that perhaps you have missed on your internet searches. I would again urge you to consider exploring the options I outlined above:
also Red Cross International.
autismspeaks.org/site-wide/united-nations
The United Nations - Autistic Minority International autisticminority.org/united-nations/
I am not Aspie (Aspergers). I am further along the spectrum, currently High Functioning Autistic, because: I am more 'locked in', do not make eye contact etc. and because I have the ability of speech, although it's very tiring and I don't make much sense, I also have the ability to communicate in written and spoken, though the effort and energy it takes is exhausting. In this medium, you do not see the level of concentration I bring to bear, nor my 'slowness' because i am processing vast amounts of information, nor do you hear my speech problems - stammer, and at times dumbness, almost like a spasm where I can't speak -, nor the fact that inside my head, my thinking is structured to re-route all information through a visual translation 'thing' or 'space' and it is like 'seeing' pictures in my head. I am translating 'code': verbal code, sensory code, hearing (I have historically been mistaken as 'deaf' yet I react to sound and can hear things that others around me cannot), my sense of smell is acute... there are many things.
I also mask. I piece together jigsaws (see above visual re-routing) of 'code' to be able to appear normal in public and interact with other people. I went undiagnosed for a long time even though it was spotted in me since birth 'something wasn't right'.
I change the way I communicate dependent upon the translation re-routing that is going on in my head. That is why I appear to write differently at different points. I am trying to communicate - but what is in my head is too complex, and words are not enough to describe the complex, composite 'jigsaws' or pictures if you will, in my head.
I hope the above gives you a small insight into, only one person obviously, but suffice to say that autism is not something to be afraid of, it is something different but equally comes with its own individuality.
I know I am not retarded. But I do know I am slow, but I am slow because I am processing so much information, I need time. Like a computer, a vast computer, I'm just running at a different speed. My speed of intake of information is instantaneous, but my output is slow. My processing speed is, understandably, slow, or appears to be slow, because I'm dealing with so much information, but also, I am going in-depth into everything, and seeing the detail.
Autistics love detail. We love patterns. We see code. We see signifiers. When we get overloaded, just like a computer, we overheat and shut down - you'll see meltdowns referred to often in any information about autism. This is normal for us. It's not something to be afraid of.
A lot of the time, and in many cases even in the UK, it is the lack of understanding that is the biggest hurdle to overcome. Being autistic, or anywhere on the spectrum, I would say is not a problem for an autistic person.
Take heart. Everything changes. Everything will be okay.