Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi
Well im female and 42 years old with a son recently diagnosed high functioning and I just put myself through assessment, after a year waiting for it through GP, and came out with a report that basically puts my anxieties down to shyness and 'childhood anxiety / trauma'.
They basically noted that because I had eye contact, good non verbal expression, am social, have emotions, very creative, dont have repetitive behaviour interests, and that I cope, I dont meet the criteria. Althought they noted I scored 64/240 (not sure for what test, but 65 is cut off).
I was shocked at this, after hours of discussions explaining my struggles as a child (basically didnt talk to anyone i wasnt close to, always felt differentm and was called weird at school) and in adulthood, particularly with relationships and socially in groups, hypersensitivity and clumsiness. I was also aware that there were aspects they hardly/never touched on which would have a bearing on a diagnosis. They were looking for typical traits as achild and of course im an expert at mimicing social behaviour and my determination and obsession with subjects im interested in have made me successful in work. But it has also caused me intense anxiety and a period of phobia which I also overcame myself. But just because I "cope" thats not to say im not struggling and the destruction its causing...
I was/am still 99.9% certain of my ASD/Aspergers and there is a clear history of aspergers/bi polar in my family.
I am really quite angry with the NHS for basically ignoring alot of the points I made in over the assessment and I also feel my mother's contribution may have been detrimental rather than helpful to a diagnosis. Her memory is unreliable and our relationship isnt exactly normal, she is quite manipulative and may well be on the spectrum too. I took a risk asking her to be part of it but I had no one else. My father even more unreliable as he has a mental health condition apart from the fact that im estranged from him.
I only saw one psychologist, one other sat in on the ADOS test, which I found excrutiatingly stressful, and I cried at the final report which left me feeling helpless without any diagnosis or even reason/validation for my experiences/traits/feelings.
Anyone else had similar experience? Should I persist with this or is it a waste of time and emotional energy to fight? I emailed the psychologist to say I feel much of what ive said hasnt been taken into account and waiting to hear back.
Hi Nutski
Just read your post (haven't been on here much lately). I'm a female Aspie in my 50s. I had wondered if I was one when I saw a documentary about it, then early this year I suffered badly with stress and anxiety and took the online AQ test, on which I scored as highly likely to be AS (40 out if 50). The GP I saw has a background in mental health and agreed it seemed likely, but although he offered me a referral he told me it would take a long time and would not lead to any support, as I generally manage OK. He has put my AQ test results on my notes though.
After some consideration and reading about the diagnostic process, I decided it would not be helpful - in fact, I believe I would find it stressful, so I declined the offer of referral. I know what I am now and this enables me to understand my reactions to situations and cope more effectively.
I also decided not to have CBT, as I read that it is mainly to train you into changing negative thought processes which lead to depression. This therapy has helped a friend of mine as this is a problem she has, but my problem was not negative thoughts, it was the typical autistic problem of getting anxiety overload. I read a book by Ruby Wax called "Sane New World", which suggests various ways of coping, and I adapted the process of Mindfulness to arrive at a way of avoiding meltdowns.
Two other books have helped me: " Am I Autistic? " by Lydia Andal is a good guide for self diagnosis and advice about clinical diagnosis. And "A field guide to earthlings - an autistic/asperger view of neurotypical behavior" by Ian Ford helped me understand "normal" people better, which I feel has helped my relationships. If you are an Aspie, you will also know that for certain after reading this book, as you won't identify with the "NT" traits of "normal" folk described in it!
Hope things are going better for you now.
Take care, Pixie