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Needing self-knowledge

lostmyway
over 8 years ago

Hi. I'm really not sure I should be posting here because I might be barking up the wrong tree but having read quite a lot about Asperger's on the web and considering the kind of life I lead I'm a bit suspicious that I might be exhibiting some of the signs of it. I have never had any friends from my teens onwards (apart from a person who used me because he was desperate for company), never had a girlfriend or any social life, apart from work and shopping. I hated being forced to go to the annual Christmas party at work (retired now) because I found the experience so overwhelming and stressful. I had no idea how to use smalltalk and felt very rejected when people seemed to avoid me. This kind of experience was so shattering to my self-estreem that I could not envisage engaging in any social interation and this has been the case for many years now, although with age and experience I can at least cope in limited social situations, despite it making me pretty uncomfortable. At one point at work I was required to work in a new location which, initially was ok with me but when it came to having to actually work there became so agitated by the noise and also the general dreariness and grime of the place that I experienced acute anxiety and decided there was no way I could continue to work there on a regular basis. It's not that I yearn for social interaction because I'm generally happier with my own company but it has led me to lead a very isolated life and if it were not for my mom (who I live with) would be a very lonely person. I have always put all this down to shyness but I now wonder whether it is something deeper. I tend to be interested in stuff like electronics and computer programming, although I never seem to get that far since I have an average IQ, but nevertheless, I find these kinds of activities more interesting than going out socialising. I just wondered whether the answer to my kind of life-style is due to simply being introverted and shy or something more fundamental, like Asperger's.

Parents
  • over 8 years ago

    Hi there,

    My experience is very similar to yours - feelings of rejection, difficulty managing small talk, and many other things.  Yes, I felt the same about office Christmas parties.  I'm now retired, and following a growing suspicion - actually one that's grown over many years - got my diagnosis recently.  I'm glad I did.  It explains an awful lot, and has made me feel far more comfortable with myself.  It doesn't "cure" anything for me, but allows me to live with it, and be comfortable that I am not "bad", "lazy", "slapdash", "uncaring", "odd", or any of the other things I've been called in my life.

    So I'd say go for it, but only you can decide.

Reply
  • over 8 years ago

    Hi there,

    My experience is very similar to yours - feelings of rejection, difficulty managing small talk, and many other things.  Yes, I felt the same about office Christmas parties.  I'm now retired, and following a growing suspicion - actually one that's grown over many years - got my diagnosis recently.  I'm glad I did.  It explains an awful lot, and has made me feel far more comfortable with myself.  It doesn't "cure" anything for me, but allows me to live with it, and be comfortable that I am not "bad", "lazy", "slapdash", "uncaring", "odd", or any of the other things I've been called in my life.

    So I'd say go for it, but only you can decide.

Children
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