Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi all,
I'm a 36 year old mum to two boys and I was diagnosed on Tuesday. Although it wasn't a surprise, it's still somehow a huge shock, and I think it will take a long time to process. I supsect I'm not alone in that though! My initial feelings were of grief and relief - grief for the girl/woman who tried so hard all these years to fit into a NT world and some(many)times not quite managing to, and relief that I know now why. I feel like I have been running a marathon my whole life just to try to keep up with other people, and someone has just told me I can stop, and rest.
So far I have told only a few, most trusted friends/relatives. I need to figure out what it means to me first before I try to absorb feedback from others. But I feel a strong instinct right now to connect with others on the spectrum - I feel like I have some good support from those I know, yet I do feel quite alone. I was pleasantly surprised to find the very active forums on this site, and although I've read through just a few of the posts so far, I identify with so many things others members are feeling - the puzzle pieces really have all suddenly slotted into place.
Anyway, I look forward to join in more discussions and hearing about the experiences of others on the board.
Hi Trogluddite and thanks for your reply, it is great to be able to connect with others on the spectrum. I know what you mean about the 'Eureka' moments - it's only been three days (can it really be only three days?!) and of course I've read so much and found so many things from others' experiences that have resonated with my own.
It's still feeling a bit scary and very surreal, but I also feel a sense of calm and much self-compassion when I look back to all those memories from my life that are inevitably passing through my mind and finally making sense.
Welcome,
It's just a few weeks since my diagnosis was confirmed - and you're right about it being a lot to process; I'm definitely still in the "sinking in" phase! I like your metaphor about the marathon running - I spent so much of my life wanting the world to stop so that I could get off for a bit!
The on-line communites are great. The openness and generosity of people stil astounds me, even a couple of months after first joining in. And they've had me rolling with laughter about the bizarre things we sometimes do. There's still barely a day when I don't have a "Eureka" moment, where some event in life has suddenly come into focus for the first time - and I learn that my harmless quirks are nothing to be ashamed of.