Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, I am new here and so far undiagnosed.. I'd love to get chatting with other people and particularly females on the spectrum, as I don't know any in my life personally. I have written a bit about myself in my profile page, so would love to hear from anyone who can help or advise in any way on this sometimes confusing subject. Many thanks :)
Wow, thanks so much for the responses. I can relate very much to all the things mentioned above from both comments! Did you have the diagnosis in the UK Mlle? I am quite scared of doing it because I've heard that it's really hard to diagnose girls and women, and I'm worried they will misdiagnose? ..Does anyone else feel like that or is it just me? I have always been very good at putting the 'normal' face on in social situations even with my slightly 'quirky' personality, however my ADHD doctor is really helpful and she said she's going to do an initial assesment for Aspergers for a refferal that will be first week of January. I'm very nervous about it. I appear 'natural' in social situations and of course in some ways I am but I realise that I have always kind of ignored how I really felt inside which is awkward, thinking about the correct time to stop talking and the correct time to listen (often get that wrong).. HATE meaningless social chit chat, never know quite where to place myself unless I find someone similar to me (different) which makes it a bit more bearable being around people. I've been told I talk and laugh very loudly and I know that I can irritate some people a lot. Before I even suspected aspergers I always thought there was something deeply wrong with me but always put it down to my upbringing.. But now I'm sure there is much more to it.. ie: before I go anywhere I like to know where I am going and who will be there as then can prepare mentally for the sort of things I will have to say or how I will behave. Before my breakdown and hospital stay I wasn't aware I did this. But now I see it clear as day. Extremely sensitive to others. As a musician when we're on tour this is very hard because we often never know until we arrive. I have learnt to become accustomed to this uncertainty but it does affect me still and if I don't balance the uncertainty with time alone or quiet time I can easily get overwhelmed and have some sort of 'meltdown'... Anyone else get this? An intense need to 'hide' or to be totally silent, at least inside my own head.. If I can't get it I get very miserable and depressed, even angry but over time I have become acustomed to hiding these feelings so I don't offend people or I don't risk harsh judgement or become the one people joke about or appear selfish. I will often laugh along with jokes but it really annoys me and it hurtful. The flip side of this is that I can easily become the opposite of depressed, I am all over the place, chaotic and OTT. Perhaps some similar traits here to bipolar, but I've heard bipolar symptoms can also be linked to undiagnosed Aspergers which makes sense as well as ADHD which I already have a diagnosis for. I have to admit that the more I understand the more scared I am is that silly? I wonder if this is due to the fact that I am also aware of just how much ignorance and judgement there can be surrounding the subject. On the extreme side it can make me want to have nothing to do with anyone unless they know me or understand Aspergers!
Wow you tour!?? I'm a musician as well. I did this for 2 weeks and will never do it again. I ended up in tears (which helps with the stress) at half the hotels. Now I work for myself in my home studio (still, thankfully, but just) - I completely relate to the need to be alone to de-stress, decompress. When I was in my 20's I would get incredibly angry when interrupted. Due to having to learn this wasn't appropriate I have become extra cautious about who I allow in my life. I'm new here as well and in the process of getting an aspie diagnosis. x
these people have left