Published on 12, July, 2020
Just wanted to stop by and say hello. I'm new and really just here to learn more by others experiences and talk about them.
Around 1999 I was very depressed and really out of it, I eventually went to the ER because I physically felt sick. I had no idea what was wrong with me but I could barely move, almost like I'd been injured. I was voluntarily sent to a psychiatric hospital which is the first exposure I've had to something like that.
While there I learned people can suffer a variety of mental health issues. But what struck me more was the supposed professionals really seemed to have no clues or treatements to really help them. In my case I should have been diagnosed immediately, the main reason is below:
I tried telling the Psychiatrist I saw that noises hurt me. Loud things were making me feel pain and startling me. She ignored it and just gave me antidepressants but it didn't help me with that much.
I came to realize years later my coping mechanisms had broken down with all the stress at home, not having a job, my dad yelling all the time, fighting. When this happened I could no longer keep the noise from really bothering me, and it built up slowly until I became physically sick.
I feel really bad for the professionals I've seen over the course of my life, not even the therapist I'd seen for 3 years or that psychiatrist ever formally diagnosed me with AS. I do know I have it now, there's no doubt in my mind as I've always exhibited the symptoms but no one ever cared.
I currently have only online friends though I get along with the people I work with they aren't people who really know me. I looked into getting a diagnosis possibly to help me but I don't believe anyone would ever formally write down I have AS here in America, if they didn't after 3 years why would they now? And also it would mean possibly getting some help from the state and from what I understand they NEVER want to do that. They'd avoid diagnosis just to keep me from any kind of aid.
So now I still live at home with my parents but I have lived on my own with my sister twice for a few years. At least then it was better because my dads always yelling and upset about something. I think he also has AS along with my mom. Would explain alot.
To better help you understand things once I got sick from eating bad food, I had a fever that was the worst I've ever had and scared because I was shaking, I told them to call the ER but since I had no job my dad refused and instead stood above me yelling and screaming at me. Had I died they surely would've been in some trouble legally.
That's just some of my stories but right now I'm looking for a job that pays more because my dad isn't leaving me alone, he's almost brutal with his demanding I find one better pay. At the same time this guy tells me to get married but I've literally never dated anyone ever in my life.
Thanks for reading this and hi!
Hi oceanorigin, and welcome. I'd just noted you having been a member for all of 16 minutes
I'm guessing that you have major difficulties that you don't understand, that no-one 'gets' you, and that you feel alone and isolated, even from your family - these things are common. Trust me, it isn't all that easy to get a diagnosis in the UK, although we are working to improve that.
I hope you can join in with some of our discussions and that we can at least be part of your community. I'm afraid we'll understand you but we will struggle to understand the culture you live in and the way it might work for you. Also, I've read so much 'learned' rubbish from so called self appointed American 'experts' that I tend to ignore what Americans have to say, so I'm not even 'up' on that!
Put it this way. We stiff-arsed Brits have an old joke that goes 'What's the difference between America and yoghurt? Yoghurt has culture... (and it's yog hurt please, not yoe gurt LOL)
You make your Dad sound AS too. He's probably anxious for you but when people don't understand their own difficulties they aren't likely to understand anyone else's. This is a good community and it's nice to have someone from another country with us. I hope you join in, and in doing so know that you've found at least some support because, of course, we do understand.
AS is hugely isolating for sure, but you are not alone. Talk to us, ask questions (is this normal? is the most common one) and chat away when you feel like it, and I hope we can give you some sense of brotherhood and belonging. Welcome again!