Published on 12, July, 2020
I became mentally ill last year and lost my job. My psychiatrist diagnosed Asperger's spectrum disorder with co-morbid OCD. A more recent diagnosis from an autism specialist suggests that I am high-functioning, mildly Aspergic with bipolar disorder type 2.
I have always known that I was a bit different. I have had huge difficulty forming intimate relationships (and have become very ill and depressed when attempts to form them went wrong) and have very few friends of my own but it never occured to me that there might be anything diagnosable.
I am very fortunate however in having a very supportive wife and two wonderful children, although given the inheritable nature of autism and bipolar disorder I have some concerns for them. They are showing no obvious outward signs, but then neither did I at their age.
I was able to function sufficiently well over the years to do well at school and hold down reasonably well-paid jobs but I have now lost the confidence to re-enter the workplace. This may not be too bad as I can just about afford to retire. It may even be a blessing in disguise as I can now focus of doing what I enjoy rather than what I need to do to earn a living.
Thank you for your comments and kind and supportive words.
I too have considerable scepticism about psychiatric diagnoses and the definition of what is normal and what is illness or disability. In my case however it is rather important as I am persuing a discrimination claim against my former employer. Equalities legislation contains a specific definition of disability which is designed to help people like us get redress when our actions and motives are so badly misunderstood that we risk losing our livelihoods and being treated as pariahs. I feel I have to fight my case not just for my benefit but on behalf of others who are similarly misunderstood and ill-treated.
The fact that I have been given some labels by some psychiatrists is not of itself an issue for me because, as you rightly say, it makes no difference to who I am. Overall I feel it could help me by pointing me in directions I would never have thought to go, such as joining this site, reading about my supposed condition and, when I am finding it very hard to cope, suggesting some remedies.
I know I was ill last year because I felt terrible, couldn't sleep, became agressive and showed other dysfunctonal behaviours. I was put on Prozac for a while but I can't tell whether this helped or not (there is some literature which suggests that Prozac can even make matters worse for bipolar disorder). I have since been taking sleeping pills and anti-anxiety medication as and when I need it. My moods go up and down - now I am feeling OK but last week I was feeling terrible, so the bipolar thing may make some sense. For long periods of my life however I have got by pretty well and who knows, I may return to this state before too long. The advantage that I and my family have now is that we should be better able to see the warning signs if and when things flare up again and aviod the situations which can lead to this.