Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello, My daughter has beenhard work ever since I can remember from age 3. Alway has to have things a certain way couldnt stand certain textures food etc. Clothes wa a nightmare as if it didnt feel right she wouldnt wear it. She was always falling out of friends as they werent doing what she wanted to do or she would be offended by the least little thing they said. She is very rigid in her thinking and everything has to be black or white as longs as it fits in with her. As she got older and no one was listening to me (ie schools etc) it became more difficult to handle her behaviour as i treated her as a naughty child. When she started secondary school it got even worse with the friendship groups i was always in school coz she was always falling out or getting picked on. but evrytime i said something to someone for help they would tell me she was a quiet pleasant girl in school and they had no problems at all apart from the frindships. When she came home from school it was like an explosion!!! I am not at a stage where she is nearly 15 and both consultant and speech therspist have said she is on the spectrum the EP is going into school on the 19/5/15. I am struggling with this part of me feels so let down by the authorities and part of me thinks does she really have it or is she jus a bad girl??
Hi Livelaughlove,
What you describe is the process that every parent goes through when forced to face an actual diagnosis. Part of you knows the truth, part of you doesn't want to know the truth! Its quite natural and you will eventually come to terms with it.
The 'explosion' you speak of when she comes home resounds very very loudly with me. Our grandson has exactly the same issues in school but the teachers tell us that he pretty well behaved other than relationship stress with other pupils.
She is holding an awful lot of anxiety, stress and heartache in at school and releasing it where she feels safest...at home. We get exactly this situation. Its like the valve in a pressure cooking releasing when he comes through the door after a bad day...and believe me they are more frequent than the good ones.
It would be a really good idea, before you mention ASD or autism to your daughter to engage her in a short conversations about feeling different from the other pupils and how being different is absolutely fine...we are all different anyway.
You've had a difficult time for yrs trying to convince professionals to assess your daughter for autism. You've spent a lot of time wondering if she's being a "naughty girl", perhaps because others said that to you. Now that the process is underway you're finally on the road to getting a diagnosis, if the consultant + st a right. This is a big deal for parents + their child. Have a look at the posts about reactions to being diagnosed/being assessed. If she is on the spectrum then she's not being a "naughty girl" + you need to learn about autism + how it affects her as an individual girl. Disciplining her as a naughty child will not work so you need to change your approach. Loads of info via the home pg + the posts. There may be support groups in your geographical area - check it out via the home pg if you're interested in joining 1. Ask any questions etc you want on here. There's lots of understanding + support