Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello. I am new to this site and before Thursday last week I would never have expected to wind up here. Anyway, I guess I should tell you a little about me.
Diagnosed with bi-polar (type 2) in 2011. I found this diagnosis confusing as the Psychiartrist never offically diagnosed me but my patient file at the GP says 'bi-polar affective disorder' - I was actually told it could be bi-polar or cyclothamia or even mild schizoptypal PD. Anyway, I have lived as a bi-polar sufferer for four years. I went from being 'me' to being 'bi-polar' it has taken over my life.
Job hopped most of my life. Had 30+ jobs. Went to four different schools. Was severely agoraphobic 2010 - 2012 (stayed indoors). In 2012 I found a job and have been in it for three years. I work because I HAVE to; pay bills, look after my cat, keep my home.
I have severe social anxiety. No real friends. Relationships have never lasted beyond 6 months (I have actually been with my current partner for eight months so I have broken my own record). Relationships are on/off and very hostile. I thought I had Borderline PD which would account for my fear of abandoment. I spend most of my time with my mum and dad. My main friend and the main aspect of my life is my cat.
Anyway, I was told last week that I was NEVER offically diagnosed with a mental health condition. I am gobsmacked. What is more alarming/surprising is I may have Asperger's Syndrome. We did the AQ50 (and I have done it now around twenty times myself) and I always score above 30. My Empathy Quotient Scale score was 19. This would mean I had an Autistic Spectrum Disorder apparently.
I have since identified the following: I watch the same films over and over again. I watch the same film every night. A film I have seen hundreds of times. I collect stationary (notebooks mainly) but do not use them. I am a tad obsessive. I don't like sunlight and block it from coming into my house. I HATE summer. I listen to the same songs every day. I get comfort from the same songs/films. I don't understand people; they confuse me so much. Human dynamics on a whole are mind-boggling. I take things very seriously. I get upset quickly. My emotions are out of control. I lose it so quickly which can display itself in anger.
BUT
Even though I have severe social anxiety I compensate greatly. I am so outgoing, chatty, confident, talkative, funny and loud. I thought this was mania/covering up my shyness. I also make great eye contact.
Sorry this post has been so long but I am trying to come to terms with things. I am still overwhelmed at the moment. Do I have AS? Who knows?
Hi, all these conditions can exist together. Your issues certainly sound like AS, but only a psychologist can diagnose this.
The thing that jumps out at me however is that you have been agorophobic and are avoiding the sun. Unless you are not taking a high dose supplement, you are probably severely deficient in vitamin D. This can cause/exacerbate all sorts of mental and physical problems. Your GP can test for this.
Good luck!