Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, I am new to the site and am looking for any advice on how to deal with my 11 year old son's meltdowns!
At the end of last year we had an Ed Psych assessment which showed that he has a high liklihood of Aspergers and a severe Seperation Anxiety Disorder. I have many problems getting him into school some days as using the school toilets is a massive issue for him along with the bus journey, changing from lesson to lesson, time in the playground with friends, using the school canteen, everything generally!
At home, he has many meltdowns and just today has begun to be very physical with me, pushing me and hitting me too. Today he was damaging my radiator with a toy car and when I took the car away he became violent.
He has been referred to CAMHS and they met on Monday this week to decide if they are going to take him on or not. I am at the end of my tether. I try to stay really calm and leave him to 'play out' the meltdown as interaction seems to aggravate him, but today nothing worked. He didnt want to do anything with me, didnt want me even in the same room as him, then when I went off to do something else, that wasnt right either! How do other people manage it?
He can also be very aggravating to his younger brother who is 8 and also seems to have the same 'symptoms' and to be honest it is hard work trying to keep them tolerating each other as one comment from one sets the other one off!!!
Does anyone have any suggestions that may help please?
Thanks
I hope you are recovered from that? How does the child react when it sees you now?
Reasonable discourse doesn't work very well with a lot of autistic people. You used reasonable force in your situation but most people would argue that the OP was also using reasonable force by restraining a child and removing a toy like that.
There are parents who, unfortuantely, lose control of their children. Do you think a rebellious, abusive child that hits its parents should be controlled with reasonable discourse? You can't remove a child's fists (i.e. its weapons). How do you define limits and restore order in situations like that?