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parent of a 21 year old with Asperges and ADHD

DiB
over 9 years ago

Hi.

I thought that as my son grew up that things might get a little easier, no such luck. Anyone else out there with a grown up and just a little bit of hope. If I hear another pointless lie I might just explode, I know it is part of the condition but when does it end?

Sorry but on an all time low, it is a very, very long story.

Parents
  • over 9 years ago

    Hi DiB,

    There is a lot of mythology out there that if you pay for all the extra treatments and work really hard at helping your son adjust his autistic traits to the big world outside it will all go away at 21.

    The frightening thing is that transition - what happens between 18-21 and onwards - is something they've only recently got round to admitting is a problem. You just fall off the conveyer belt. Somewhere out there adult social services does something - not altogether sure what.

    Then there is adult autism - still denied by many GPs and health officials. If you've still got autistic traits as an adult you must have been doing something wrong - weren't paying attention - haven't tried hard enough. Adults on here will tell you how little sympathy they get - if you've still got problems...tough...

    And then there's autism and ageing - getting old with autism - its just clicked that they need to research this!

    It might take a bit longer, it might take a lifetime longer. However at 21, even though school is behind, the need to conform with peers is still strong. As he gets clear of that things may get easier.

    I'm pretty certain that a lot of the harm in teenage years is that on top of puberty you have expectations to follow the pack. That's likely to be a large part of the stress. 21 is too soon to thinking that's all gone. 25 might be better.

Reply
  • over 9 years ago

    Hi DiB,

    There is a lot of mythology out there that if you pay for all the extra treatments and work really hard at helping your son adjust his autistic traits to the big world outside it will all go away at 21.

    The frightening thing is that transition - what happens between 18-21 and onwards - is something they've only recently got round to admitting is a problem. You just fall off the conveyer belt. Somewhere out there adult social services does something - not altogether sure what.

    Then there is adult autism - still denied by many GPs and health officials. If you've still got autistic traits as an adult you must have been doing something wrong - weren't paying attention - haven't tried hard enough. Adults on here will tell you how little sympathy they get - if you've still got problems...tough...

    And then there's autism and ageing - getting old with autism - its just clicked that they need to research this!

    It might take a bit longer, it might take a lifetime longer. However at 21, even though school is behind, the need to conform with peers is still strong. As he gets clear of that things may get easier.

    I'm pretty certain that a lot of the harm in teenage years is that on top of puberty you have expectations to follow the pack. That's likely to be a large part of the stress. 21 is too soon to thinking that's all gone. 25 might be better.

Children
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