Late diagnosis in early 20s

Hi and welcome!

Like Oscar, I'm in my early 70s and diagnosed recently. I'm still coming to terms with it, too. I live alone and envy you for having a loving family and partner. Regretfully, you may not have much assistance from the NHS but you'll get a lot from this cvommunity. Take a look at the NAS's advice and gudance section, especially after diagnosis.

Hi Cico81, 

Welcome to this site and congratulations upon your diagnosis. Your comments about your feelings post-diagnosis are quite common.  Now you have found this forum you are definitely not as alone as you were. Most people here will completely understand you as many will have gone through this post-assessment issue.  The usual advice is just  take things slowly - there may be a lot of things to review. Secondly, just be kind and gentle with yourself.  

Having an assessment doesn't mean you actually have to do or change anything. You can just ignore it if you wish, it is your assessment after all.  

I am in my 70s and diagnosed this year. It has taken me at least a large handful of months to come to terms with the "new" me.  Yes, for me the acceptance was fairly easy as I, and my partner, had more or less accepted I was autistic before the assessment. My problem was reliving events from a very long past were my autism and other people attitudes to me had negative outcomes. Then, I realised this was all so counterproductive as I couldn't change anything.

So, I started on my autistic future.  I so much more happier and relaxed now.

Best wishes,
Oscar 

Hi Cico81 - congratulations on your diagnosis and welcome to the community.

There are plenty of late-diagnosed and late-realised autistic people here, so you’re in good company!

As for many others, my diagnosis turned out to be the start of a new journey of learning and adapting. I'd suggest taking extra care to be patient to, and kind with, yourself - and to take your time with processing everything. It can be normal to experience a lot of emotional dysregulation after a diagnosis. The NAS has a great set of articles on "after diagnosis", including one that covers how you might feel during the coming days / weeks / months. You might find them helpful as a starting point:

NAS - How will I feel after receiving an autism diagnosis - includes perspectives from other autistic people

NAS - After diagnosis - including:

• Talking about and disclosing your autism diagnosis
• Emotional support for family members after a diagnosis
• Formal support following an autism diagnosis
• What can I do if formal support is not offered or is not enough

These might also be helpful:

NAS - Autistic fatigue and burnout

NAS Professional Practice - Understanding autistic burnout

NAS - Seeking help with mental health

Therapy or counselling are often recommended after a diagnosis, as a follow up action for your GP to arrange. If you prefer, depending on where you are in the UK, you might instead be able to self refer for talking therapy on the NHS. 

Before arranging anything you might find it helpful to borrow or buy this book, which includes discussion of various types of therapy and counselling, together with advice on choosing the right therapist or counsellor - all from an autistic person's viewpoint. Several of us here have found it very helpful:

The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy

Finally, I'll just mention a couple of books that I and others have found helpful early on in our post-diagnosis journeys:

Self-Care for Autistic People: 100+ Ways to Recharge, De-Stress, and Unmask!

How to Be Autistic (free download currently available via this page)