Late diagnosis in early 20s

Hi, I think I understand the feeling of loneliness after diagnosis. I shared my diagnosis initially with several people, and I thought my family would understand, but I think that unless someone goes through something similar (regardless of whether they are autistic or not), it's really difficult for them to see the grief unfolding within us.

And even if there's a chance that some family members may share traits, they may deal with them differently and expect you to manage the hard reality just as they have.

Sometimes, I feel that because we've learned to accommodate the needs of others naturally, and put ourselves at the end of the queue, we may feel that this is just the way the world works, but it isn't. It doesn't mean that others don't care, but they often care and show it differently.

I have a lovely and supportive partner, who I suspect is autistic as well, but our life experiences and internal construction are still so different. What helps me is having a therapist I can talk to about everything and explore this new world with. I am also learning to enjoy small moments of connection with others, not total alignment, but shared thoughts, topics, and hobbies.

I stopped thinking that only another autistic person could understand me, because that isn't guaranteed either. We are all so different, and sometimes I feel that what we truly share is simply how different we feel from the majority or the cultural patterns of our society. Learning to relate to others again, regardless of whether they are autistic or not, feels like my own way forward.

I'd really encourage you to find a therapist or a counsellor to help you navigate the world after diagnosis, if it's something you can afford. Some therapists offer reduced rates for those who can't afford the full fee.

Hi, I think I understand the feeling of loneliness after diagnosis. I shared my diagnosis initially with several people, and I thought my family would understand, but I think that unless someone goes through something similar (regardless of whether they are autistic or not), it's really difficult for them to see the grief unfolding within us.

And even if there's a chance that some family members may share traits, they may deal with them differently and expect you to manage the hard reality just as they have.

Sometimes, I feel that because we've learned to accommodate the needs of others naturally, and put ourselves at the end of the queue, we may feel that this is just the way the world works, but it isn't. It doesn't mean that others don't care, but they often care and show it differently.

I have a lovely and supportive partner, who I suspect is autistic as well, but our life experiences and internal construction are still so different. What helps me is having a therapist I can talk to about everything and explore this new world with. I am also learning to enjoy small moments of connection with others, not total alignment, but shared thoughts, topics, and hobbies.

I stopped thinking that only another autistic person could understand me, because that isn't guaranteed either. We are all so different, and sometimes I feel that what we truly share is simply how different we feel from the majority or the cultural patterns of our society. Learning to relate to others again, regardless of whether they are autistic or not, feels like my own way forward.

I'd really encourage you to find a therapist or a counsellor to help you navigate the world after diagnosis, if it's something you can afford. Some therapists offer reduced rates for those who can't afford the full fee.

Hi, 

thank you so much for your kind words, I start therapy early December to help navigate all of this and my mental health. I’m hoping that by taking small steps and small challenges will help me get a bit more confident with interactions. 

I was shopping the other day and a child was waving at me and sticking his tongue out so I did it back, he was with his grandparents, his grandfather said ‘I can’t promise he’s not on the spectrum’ and laughed after, regarding the kids exiting behaviour. And I just sort of was like haha yeah bye. Just small things like that seam to nock me back. 

I will take on what you’ve said thank you