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Hello.

SW

I'm 51 and was diagnosed with level 2 ASD in February (although I've suspected I had Aspergers for years). I don't normally use social media channels, but as the only post-diagnosis support the NHS offered me was a link to this website... here I am. Has anyone else found that rather than their diagnosis providing clarity and understanding of why they're like they are (as my GP suggested), they instead feel much worse than before? Mainly I feel anger - that none of the mental health professionals who saw me in my teens did their job properly. If I'd been correctly diagnosed then (rather than with clinical depression and anxiety), how different might my life have been? Anyway, hello everyone (sorry, should have said that first), hopefully at least I'll encounter some people who understand what it's like here.

  • in reply to SW

    Personally I have found it useful to acknowledge how I’m feeling/ where I am at, then look at where I want to be, followed by breaking down manageable steps to get there

    Finally I reflect back on a greater distance of time and celebrate what I’ve been through and achieved… looking to the future, but being in the present is great

    i really enjoy my hobbies like nature walks, reading and baking

  • Hello Stuart, Rachel and Puggy, thank you for replying.

    Yes, of course I realise I'm probably being unfair in saying that the people who saw me 30 odd years ago "weren't doing their job" but I can't help feeling the way I do at the moment. Similarly to you Puggy, I suspect that the only reason I've been diagnosed now is because of one individual: my new GP has an autistic son. She referred me for an RTC assessment. Normally I do try to look forward, attempt to make today better than yesterday etc. It was the assessment - the forms and the interview that forced me to think about all the stuff from my childhood that I normally try not to think about as it upsets me. I've been stuck in that backward looking frame of mind for a few months now. I've got to try to start looking forward again.

  • Hello,

    I wanted to say that you are most certainly not alone by feeling a negative shift. I am 25 and have been in some form of therapeutic support since at least 7. Despite me being very articulate about my feelings/ experiences and thoughts it has taken me repeating myself like a broken record in distress for one individual to suggest I may be suffering with undiagnosed neurodivergence. A whole year later I have had the Autism confirmed, but am still waiting to hear about the ADHD (will be shocked if it’s not there too). When I was simply emailed a 21 page document confirming my Autism, I felt very weird and somewhat dissociative. I am struggling to accept feelings around so many people failing me and everything being so backwards. I feel completely isolated but have been working really hard to be the change needed by studying to specialise in neurodivergent support.

    Keep your chin up and look for one small thing each day that is positive until you feel the negativity ease, I am glad you finally have the answer to some of your life long struggles <3

  • Autism came out in 1980 and if your communication levels were above this level, you wouldn't have been diagnosed with it. Aspergers came out in 1994. Could you have been diagnosed with it then.Was you still seeing care professionals then?

  • Hello.

    I felt sadness, loss and grief.

    But 30-40 years ago knowledge and thinking were quite different. It was viewed more negatively with more stigma. The diagnostic criteria were different too. And adult diagnosis 30 years ago was very rare or impossible I believe.

    While it is frustrating, it will eat you up if you descend too much into the what-if scenarios.

    It is also easy to start looping based on a idealised perfect life. But it is not realistic. If course, knowing that does not stop the thoughts.

    The reality is you can't know what would have happened. It has taken me a year to come to terms with these things. It still hurts though.

    The challenge is to try to live in the moment, and make changes to allow more capacity to have things to look forward to in the future.