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Hello.

SW

I'm 51 and was diagnosed with level 2 ASD in February (although I've suspected I had Aspergers for years). I don't normally use social media channels, but as the only post-diagnosis support the NHS offered me was a link to this website... here I am. Has anyone else found that rather than their diagnosis providing clarity and understanding of why they're like they are (as my GP suggested), they instead feel much worse than before? Mainly I feel anger - that none of the mental health professionals who saw me in my teens did their job properly. If I'd been correctly diagnosed then (rather than with clinical depression and anxiety), how different might my life have been? Anyway, hello everyone (sorry, should have said that first), hopefully at least I'll encounter some people who understand what it's like here.

Parents

  • Hello Stuart, Rachel and Puggy, thank you for replying.

    Yes, of course I realise I'm probably being unfair in saying that the people who saw me 30 odd years ago "weren't doing their job" but I can't help feeling the way I do at the moment. Similarly to you Puggy, I suspect that the only reason I've been diagnosed now is because of one individual: my new GP has an autistic son. She referred me for an RTC assessment. Normally I do try to look forward, attempt to make today better than yesterday etc. It was the assessment - the forms and the interview that forced me to think about all the stuff from my childhood that I normally try not to think about as it upsets me. I've been stuck in that backward looking frame of mind for a few months now. I've got to try to start looking forward again.

  • in reply to SW

    Hello SW, 

    It does appear, from comments on this site, that a positive assessment is often both an end and a beginning. A bit like a piece of string that has been cut in two.   
    I was recently diagnosed autistic at 70+. It is a seismic jolt to suddenly know who you are and why (and who you are not). My reaction: I was angry a bit but mainly felt very sad and disorientated. So, my response wasn't one of joy but a mix of great relief, regret and puzzlement.
    That was 5 months ago and the dust has settled quite a bit. So, 5 months of pretty constant reflection upon the past and the stress, the not fitting in with people, with burnout, walking out of jobs, depressive periods that medicine and therapy couldn’t fix, relationship problems. Life was tough but I did have some really memorable good times.
    I would say that my assessment was the best thing that has ever happened to me – I feel whole at last. I do not want to forget the past but as I cannot change it I try to let it just exist.
    My aim now, is to enjoy my autistic future.      

Reply
  • in reply to SW

    Hello SW, 

    It does appear, from comments on this site, that a positive assessment is often both an end and a beginning. A bit like a piece of string that has been cut in two.   
    I was recently diagnosed autistic at 70+. It is a seismic jolt to suddenly know who you are and why (and who you are not). My reaction: I was angry a bit but mainly felt very sad and disorientated. So, my response wasn't one of joy but a mix of great relief, regret and puzzlement.
    That was 5 months ago and the dust has settled quite a bit. So, 5 months of pretty constant reflection upon the past and the stress, the not fitting in with people, with burnout, walking out of jobs, depressive periods that medicine and therapy couldn’t fix, relationship problems. Life was tough but I did have some really memorable good times.
    I would say that my assessment was the best thing that has ever happened to me – I feel whole at last. I do not want to forget the past but as I cannot change it I try to let it just exist.
    My aim now, is to enjoy my autistic future.      

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