I don’t know what I’m doing with my life

Hi NAS92433,

Firstly, I want you to know that you are not alone. I have been in a similar situation myself and am in a much better place nowadays (although not quite where I want to be yet). Things can and will improve.

If a better social life is something you hope to have then you may be interested in this page: Making friends - a guide for autistic adults

For employment, this may be of interest, including the section about finding a job that's right for you: Employment

Please do get in touch if you need any further help.

Warm regards

Brian Mod

Oh, and I’ve done some online courses in different subject at home, not really in anything I would be interested in pursuing job wise but just out of boredom

I go for a walk every day. Not sure how many steps lol. 

I tried volunteering at a farm, and while it was a distraction, I felt awkward and still felt sad. I tried being social with other people but it wasn’t well reciprocated the way I’d hoped. It seemed like the other volunteers were going through their own things too, I remember another volunteer bursting into tears (not sure why). There was only one ‘support worker’ on hand, so when she was free, I tried to have small talk with her. 

I don’t know if its just me but, when you don’t feel like anyone wants to chat with you, or befriend you, you start to feel like there is something wrong with you. I kept going to the farm but eventually I started to feel worse about myself. I began to go non verbal because I felt uncomfortable, so I left.

Now because of that experience, I’m scared to try again

• yeah, after trying cbt i had other autistic people telling me it doesn’t always help people like us. But it seems like every gp or health professional i’ve spoken to expect a one all size fits all approach to work when it doesn’t. 

I’ve also been told to try counselling, for what exactly?? 

Do these people not understand that because of my autism I inherently have trauma for just existing and people not knowing how to deal with me or treat me? For living in a society that isn’t built for us? That lacks understanding and support? I’m probably always gonna be going through something in my life, does that mean I need to spend my life in therapy? Or shoving medication at me and expecting it to go away? It won’t help at all either. And that’s all the help I am given these days. 

How many times do I have to repeat myself, its exhausting. And it still gets me nowhere, no support to change things. I think that is why so many of us give up.

I’ve been to support groups in my area and they don’t seem run properly and lack staff. It’s fine if I wanna spend an evening at a CRISIS HUB, colouring and trauma dumping to a bunch of people (who probably don’t wanna hear it), but I’ve found people don’t really wanna talk to me. I try to be social and nice and smiley but maybe I give off a weird vibe? When I went once, no one was really encouraged to talk to one another, it was strange. 

• As for social prescribing, I reached out to my gp and asked for it, then someone contacted me, they told me we could do something together, IF I arranged it. What?? I explained that I don’t really have hobbies, so what am I supposed to arrange/organise? 

Hi, would you consider volunteering? Doesn’t have to be particularly sociable, animal charities often have volunteers help walk the dogs or clean out the cats, guinea pigs etc. or would you consider learning something new, just for yourself by doing an online course, or going to a library and borrowing a book on something random, just to broaden your work, even if only from your home? Could you plant a few veggies in the garden? Walk at least 5k per day?  It doesn’t have to be these things, but I’m just an older person with ideas of how to make my world bigger, when I often try to make it smaller. 
being on here and joining in conversations is a good start. 

Hi I'm Cam, I was diagnosed at age 52 so I fell through the net years ago. School, college and of course life. What I mean by that is I have like most people with ASD I have suffered with relationships, friendships and the whole social debacle! 

Life wasn't easy but now I sort of understand it, The diagnosis anyway. Many experiences in life now make a great deal of sense now though very hard experience's, not particularly nice but experience non the less. Either way I am now learning to leave the mask off and just accept life and accept I am my own beautiful mind.

I think if you're autistic, CBT is not always great unless it's specially tailored to suit? I read a book on autistic therapy and it suggested other methods night be better.

I've heard on here about something called social prescribing? I think if you went to your GP and said you are feeling a bit hopeless, and you do sound a bit depressed as that also makes it hard to find joy in any hobbies, and ask about it? (If anyone else has more details, that might help!) You could also ask about autism friendly therapy to help get you out of this dip. 

When you are that lost, it's incredibly difficult to get yourself out of it, and it's okay to try and get some help. It's really good to talk about it, maybe even try join in on some general posts on here, no pressure but just doing little things might help? There was also a thread on simple jobs, try have a read of that if you need ideas too?

Best of luck to you!