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Recent ASD & ADHD diagnosis aged 58

goesbysteve

Hi,

I’ve always felt strange and like an alien. But having no idea why it’s led to a lifetime of shame, resentment, anxiety and depression. I’ve had a successful career in software engineering but often been fired or selected for redundancy due to difficulties at work and with interpersonal relationships. I’m relying on a day a week working for a local company here in rural mid-Wales. To this point I’ve blamed myself or others around me for difficulties which makes me unhappy trusting others or myself.

It was only when  I met my sister-I’m-law whose son has autism, ADHD and dyspraxia. She had retrained as a specialist teaching assistant after her son’s diagnosis and recognised traits in me. Only took me 15years to get around to my own diagnosis. Now I have it I’m unsure how to feel or be. It all feels a bit unreal whilst also explaining many things about how I am.

I have been recommended some books to help me understand myself better and to develop some more gentle coping strategies. I would be very happy to. hear about any others, particularly for dual diagnosis or AuDHD.

About me,

I grew up in the 70/80s and love the era for film and music.

I am an avid reader or sci-fi, fantasy and cosmic horror.

I enjoy table top role playing games and boardgames. Though I often end up playing solo versions. I do enjoy the odd group game.

I have a huge interest in railways, history and retro 80s computers. Including designing and building homebrew 8/16bit computers from individual integrated circuits.

Happy to talk to others in similar situations.

all the best,

Steve

  • in reply to goesbysteve

    I always take a while to recover from a wobble too, but I've managed to hang in there so far! I hope you can settle.

    I've spent the last 5 years reading lots of Brandon Sanderson, currently reading Wind and Truth, but where he is taking a lot of his series has disettled me a little, so I think I'm going to branch out a bit more. I never read Pratchett back in the day (covers always put me off), but my son started reading them on kindle last year so I started a few of them too as its a family library. Another series I was read was the Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Lynch was an enjoyable take on a fantasy setting, being partly crime.

    When I was younger I read Asimov, like his foundation series, and Clarke's 2001 series. Eon and it's sequel by Bear was good too, and obviously Adam's is up there with Dirk Gently and Hitchhickers (the latter I read when 12). They influenced me heavily and I did my English essays on them instead of classics like everyone else.

    One I've really loved recently that someone introduced me to was Adrian Tchaikovsky, Children of Time series, the fourth one is out soon and I'm really looking forward to it! That and I've really loved the quietly profound series A Long Way to a Small Angry Planet by Becky Chambers, the themes she deals with are brilliant, and it's been a great series to read along side Tchaikovsky as they almost explore similar things but in completely different ways!

  • I'm probably pretty similar to you, just a few years younger..

    I was diagnosed around 6 months with ASD.

    Although I worked out that I had something going on about 20 years ago.

    I have had a fairly successful IT Analysis career split between Software Testing and Data Analysis in the finance sector.

    I can relate to the difficulties in retaining roles, the corporate world is pretty hostile to ND people. I got my diagnosis to protect my current role.

    I don't read as much as I used to. Mainly because I have sleep issues that I'm trying to fix. I have an interest in Sci-Fi, fantasy and yes I've read Lovecraft too, among other more practical interests.

    I do indulge in retro gaming, mainly Atari 2600, Amiga and a few of the 8/16 bit consoles.

  • Hi Steve, I'm near enough same age as you, and AuDHD too.  Diagnosed start of 2025 with Autism and a year later with ADHD.

    I had a VIC20 whilst many of my friends had ZX81 before moving to Spectrum, another friend I think his dad built an acorn atom.  Those days of typing code from mags and also the squealing tape loadsGrinning .  We had 1 computer in the computer studies class at my school ! - not sure but it had to be wheeled in on a trolley

    Anyway nice to see you here and the learning about AuDHD and how it effects you, is a slow process.  I've just started meds which seem to be helping in general, although they can't solve everything

  • in reply to Cinnabar_wing

    Thank you. I’m not quite at the positive point but I hope to get there.

    what are your favourite authors or series? 

  • Hi Steve, good to have you here! (Sorry you had some teething issues).

    It's funny how you can come to find out about being autistic later in life. I hope it's brought you some peace and understanding, and a good helping of self forgiveness. 

    Cool hobbies you've accrued over the years. Sci Fi/fantasy is my favourite genres for reading, and we play board games when we can.

    Welcome!