Recent ASD & ADHD diagnosis aged 58

Hi,

I’ve always felt strange and like an alien. But having no idea why it’s led to a lifetime of shame, resentment, anxiety and depression. I’ve had a successful career in software engineering but often been fired or selected for redundancy due to difficulties at work and with interpersonal relationships. I’m relying on a day a week working for a local company here in rural mid-Wales. To this point I’ve blamed myself or others around me for difficulties which makes me unhappy trusting others or myself.

It was only when  I met my sister-I’m-law whose son has autism, ADHD and dyspraxia. She had retrained as a specialist teaching assistant after her son’s diagnosis and recognised traits in me. Only took me 15years to get around to my own diagnosis. Now I have it I’m unsure how to feel or be. It all feels a bit unreal whilst also explaining many things about how I am.

I have been recommended some books to help me understand myself better and to develop some more gentle coping strategies. I would be very happy to. hear about any others, particularly for dual diagnosis or AuDHD.

About me,

I grew up in the 70/80s and love the era for film and music.

I am an avid reader or sci-fi, fantasy and cosmic horror.

I enjoy table top role playing games and boardgames. Though I often end up playing solo versions. I do enjoy the odd group game.

I have a huge interest in railways, history and retro 80s computers. Including designing and building homebrew 8/16bit computers from individual integrated circuits.

Happy to talk to others in similar situations.

all the best,

Steve

Parents
  • Hi Steve, I'm near enough same age as you, and AuDHD too.  Diagnosed start of 2025 with Autism and a year later with ADHD.

    I had a VIC20 whilst many of my friends had ZX81 before moving to Spectrum, another friend I think his dad built an acorn atom.  Those days of typing code from mags and also the squealing tape loadsGrinning .  We had 1 computer in the computer studies class at my school ! - not sure but it had to be wheeled in on a trolley

    Anyway nice to see you here and the learning about AuDHD and how it effects you, is a slow process.  I've just started meds which seem to be helping in general, although they can't solve everything

Reply
  • Hi Steve, I'm near enough same age as you, and AuDHD too.  Diagnosed start of 2025 with Autism and a year later with ADHD.

    I had a VIC20 whilst many of my friends had ZX81 before moving to Spectrum, another friend I think his dad built an acorn atom.  Those days of typing code from mags and also the squealing tape loadsGrinning .  We had 1 computer in the computer studies class at my school ! - not sure but it had to be wheeled in on a trolley

    Anyway nice to see you here and the learning about AuDHD and how it effects you, is a slow process.  I've just started meds which seem to be helping in general, although they can't solve everything

Children
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