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Hi, I'm New Here!

Awkward_J_95

I am a 30 year old female. Diagnosed with ADHD a few years ago and autism this year. I have a partner and a toddler. From the North East.

Since getting my diagnosis ive felt like things have gotten harder, not easier... I struggle to mask. I struggle with my anxiety more and rejection sensetivity. Work is hell. I feel detached from my partner, like every autistic/ADHD trait now annoys them and i feel alone...

I struggle to keep up friendships but i crave friends. Its difficult... 

I just feel like all motivation has left me, i feel lost and just wabt to find myself again.

Im hoping talking to like minded people helps on that journey.

  • Good morning from America, Awkward_J_95!

    34 year old AuDHDer here! I’m sorry to hear that things have been getting harder after the diagnosis. That can happen as you become more aware of your Autistic/ADHD traits. I hope that soon your story turns around and you begin to understand and sympathize with yourself more.

    Let me know if there is someway I can help. I’m an employment specialist, so if work really is hell, I might have some advice on how to possibly make it better or how to find a better fitting occupation.

  • Hi  - welcome to our community and I hope you soon feel comfortable here. Lots of good people with experience to share so have a rummage around and dig in. 

    Thank you for sharing how things are for you. I am 59, male, a fellow Northerner and was diagnosed as AuDHD (autistic + ADHD) last summer. Your second paragraph resonated with my own post-diagnosis experience.

    People here have helped me understand that this pattern is quite common because diagnosis is a jolt to identity, and also can lead to skill regression, masking not working so well and even burnout. But this period is temporary and I have read that things usually settle down within a year. That has given me some hope amid the chaos!

    I have found it important to reduce external demands, be really kind to (and accepting of) myself and try to unlearn my internalised ableism (musts, shoulds) so I can live more authentically. I am still a work in progress, so happy to swap notes with you.

  • Hi  and welcome 

    You’ve landed in the right spot for support and understanding. 

    I can relate to most of what you’ve mentioned. It does get easier when you start to find people like you, maybe some in person ND groups would help if that’s possible.

    Keep reaching out, we are here to help each other.

    Blush

  • Welcome.

    I like to walk too - ideally, not through noisy town / city centres though!

    Looking forward to you exploring the community here.