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Hi, I'm New Here!

Awkward_J_95

I am a 30 year old female. Diagnosed with ADHD a few years ago and autism this year. I have a partner and a toddler. From the North East.

Since getting my diagnosis ive felt like things have gotten harder, not easier... I struggle to mask. I struggle with my anxiety more and rejection sensetivity. Work is hell. I feel detached from my partner, like every autistic/ADHD trait now annoys them and i feel alone...

I struggle to keep up friendships but i crave friends. Its difficult... 

I just feel like all motivation has left me, i feel lost and just wabt to find myself again.

Im hoping talking to like minded people helps on that journey.

Parents

  • It honestly sounds like you’re going through what so many late‑diagnosed women hit at the same time - the mask cracks, everything underneath rushes out, and suddenly life feels ten times louder. ADHD and autism together are no small thing. It’s that constant “why can’t I just function like everyone else?” while the world keeps moving at full speed.

    Work feels brutal because you’re not masking the way you used to, and every sigh or comment lands like a punch. Your partner probably doesn’t realise how exhausting it is having to explain yourself over and over. And a toddler on top of all that? Lovely, chaotic, and completely draining. No wonder your motivation’s gone - you’re running on fumes.

    But here’s the thing: this isn’t you “getting worse.” This is you finally seeing yourself clearly, without all the layers you had to build just to survive. It hurts, but it’s real. You’re not broken - you’re just unfiltered for the first time, and that takes time to adjust to.

    Wanting friends isn’t weakness, it’s human. It’s survival. Start tiny: one message, one coffee, one person who feels safe. Those North East groups I mentioned? They’re full of women who’ve been exactly where you are - messy, tired, brilliant, and done with pretending. You don’t have to perform for them.

    You’ve already done the hardest part: saying it out loud. That takes guts. Finding yourself again won’t be some big dramatic moment - it’ll come back slowly, in little pieces. A quiet coffee. A nap you actually let yourself take. Saying “no” at work without apologising.

    You’re doing better than you think. Even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.

  • in reply to B

    Don't you have anything better to do than nitpick? It's a supportive and empathetic response - what more do you want for goodness' sake?

  • in reply to Bunny

    Bunny, that's so vague I have little idea what you're talking about. Sorry.

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