Hello, looking for like-minded people

I know you weren’t  I completely get why that would be stressful.

I wasn't suggesting a meet up, way to stressful, I'd have to travel, I'd panic that there would be nothing I could eat and that I wouldn't be able to sleep properly, all sorts of jibering and tweeting, to the point where I wouldn't be able to go.

If no one wore a badge, then most would sit around on their own watching the others wondering who they were. If someone had the courage to speak a few might engage. The test might jealously watch.

Some would just look in the doors, be too scared to enter, then fret, then walk off, then regret it, try to come back, get annoyed with themselves then go away. They'd feel better that afternoon. But regret it the next day.

If people wore a badge, people would feel very self-conscious, but if people knew who they would talk to first and arranged if beforehand, it would work quite well. It runs the risk of creating cliques, but people hovering nearby need to be invited in. Someone just needs to take ownership.

It is not in impossible. You just have to be able to endure some discomfort for a short while at the start a try not to latch onto one person for the whole day.

I can see what you mean, irony and jokes can definitely be tricky to process. I think it’s really interesting how different people notice these things in different ways. Also, the way you use logic to differentiate if something is meant as a joke. The things we have to do to get by.

It’s lovely to connect with someone who can share experiences like this. It makes understanding each other feel a lot easier.

It's pleasant for me too to share experiences with people who understand.  I also struggle a lot with irony, jokes, not literal speech etc. And it's also tricky fir me. Sometimes I get that someone was joking because I process it logically and it's such  absurd that it's impossible to be serious. 

Hi,

Thank you for sharing that, I really relate to a lot of what you’ve said. It sounds like we’ve both had experiences where helping others comes naturally, but sometimes people take advantage of that. I can understand wanting to just have peace and not feel pressured by social expectations.

Small talk is tricky for me too, it can feel exhausting and sometimes even overwhelming. I completely get the feeling of wanting to escape from overly physical or expressive social situations; it can be really uncomfortable.

It’s nice to connect with someone who gets it. Even just chatting here in a safe space feels refreshing, without the stress of performing socially.

Hi,

Thanks for responding. I’m glad you have friends you can speak to, that’s really a gift.

So many different scenarios could play out at a meet-up! I’ve never attended one myself, so I can’t offer any real experience, but I can imagine it could go either way and still be really interesting. 

Hi John,

Lovely to hear from you, and I really appreciate your message. 

I love the art of the piano, unfortunately, I can’t play, but I still really enjoy listening to it. I did get the chance to play the cornet and trombone as a child, so I have some musical memories!

The artistic part of my brain is definitely active, so I completely relate to finding joy in art, photography, music, and similar creative outlets.

The outdoors is wonderful for the mind. I’d love to go on more explorative walks or hikes, like in the Peak District, though I wouldn’t feel comfortable going alone. Knowing me, I’d probably have an accident, and no one would be around.

It’s really nice to see that we’re both looking for the same kind of meaningful connection.

Hello, I like your post. 
im new here and also relate to the struggle of friendship. I really like deep conversation and I too usually give more (sometimes too much) and listen a lot. I’m musical, creative and enjoy piano, art, photography and anything nature / outdoors’y. 

im also hoping to meet a friend, but not superficially, something that will hopefully build into a really nice friendship, to connect with someone who ‘gets it’ without having to over explain. 

Hopefully hear from you soon.

John. 

I like that, No Friends Circle of Trust, although I do have a couple of friends, I relate to what you've said. I've often wondered what a meet up would be like? Would we all sit there in silence being awkward or would we split off into related special interest groups, would some of us, mostly female memebers walk around on the edges of other groups looking in and seeming to interact without actually doing so?

Hi, I relate a lot to what you described. I have one friend for 20 years, currently we are living far away from each other, because i moved, and I think it's actually good. Where I'm living I also have no friends. I also tend to help others just automatically. But others take advantage of me. I have no problem to talk to someone if I have a reason, for example ask something or give some information.  Small talk is for me impossible, I get anxious that someone would start it with me and I have no idea what to say. In addition I can see people gesticulating,  having their eyes glued with each other and touching each other and this is for me extremely unpleasant, I just wanna run if anyone tries that with me. Sometimes I can take some very short part in small talk if it happens that I have something to say, but I drop in the middle and dissappear.  People st work wonder if I can speak or I heard some probably off handed complements that I can even write. I'm not sure if it was bullying or what but I just wanna have peace.