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Hello, looking for like-minded people

NeurodivergentMind

Hello,

I’ll openly admit it: I have no friends. I’m picturing myself sitting in a circle of people confessing the same, maybe we could call it the “No Friends Circle of Trust.” Haha.

This post is for anyone who might be in the same boat but doesn’t feel comfortable saying it out loud. As adults, admitting you have no friends can make people assume there must be a negative reason, that you’re unfriendly, unkind, or “the problem.” In my experience, that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Speaking for myself, I often find I give more than I get back. Don’t get me wrong, I never give just to receive but when you notice a pattern where people take advantage of your generosity, you start to pull away from friendships altogether.

I don’t struggle to talk to people, but small talk makes me deeply uncomfortable, and meaningful conversations don’t always seem to be what people are looking for. So, I often find myself listening more than speaking. On the plus side, I’m an excellent listener which feels like an underrated superpower.

If you value honesty, humour, and conversations that go a little deeper than the weather, I’d really like to connect with you here.

Parents

  • Hi, I relate a lot to what you described. I have one friend for 20 years, currently we are living far away from each other, because i moved, and I think it's actually good. Where I'm living I also have no friends. I also tend to help others just automatically. But others take advantage of me. I have no problem to talk to someone if I have a reason, for example ask something or give some information.  Small talk is for me impossible, I get anxious that someone would start it with me and I have no idea what to say. In addition I can see people gesticulating,  having their eyes glued with each other and touching each other and this is for me extremely unpleasant, I just wanna run if anyone tries that with me. Sometimes I can take some very short part in small talk if it happens that I have something to say, but I drop in the middle and dissappear.  People st work wonder if I can speak or I heard some probably off handed complements that I can even write. I'm not sure if it was bullying or what but I just wanna have peace.

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  • Hi, I relate a lot to what you described. I have one friend for 20 years, currently we are living far away from each other, because i moved, and I think it's actually good. Where I'm living I also have no friends. I also tend to help others just automatically. But others take advantage of me. I have no problem to talk to someone if I have a reason, for example ask something or give some information.  Small talk is for me impossible, I get anxious that someone would start it with me and I have no idea what to say. In addition I can see people gesticulating,  having their eyes glued with each other and touching each other and this is for me extremely unpleasant, I just wanna run if anyone tries that with me. Sometimes I can take some very short part in small talk if it happens that I have something to say, but I drop in the middle and dissappear.  People st work wonder if I can speak or I heard some probably off handed complements that I can even write. I'm not sure if it was bullying or what but I just wanna have peace.

Children
  • in reply to Alien0n3arth

    Hi,

    Thank you for sharing that, I really relate to a lot of what you’ve said. It sounds like we’ve both had experiences where helping others comes naturally, but sometimes people take advantage of that. I can understand wanting to just have peace and not feel pressured by social expectations.

    Small talk is tricky for me too, it can feel exhausting and sometimes even overwhelming. I completely get the feeling of wanting to escape from overly physical or expressive social situations; it can be really uncomfortable.

    It’s nice to connect with someone who gets it. Even just chatting here in a safe space feels refreshing, without the stress of performing socially.