Sorry for not contributing much

Aah I'm pleased you've tried to contact Roy.

He may return, I hope so!!

(⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠

Still having highs and lows and I got diagnosed 4 years ago. I think its like the stages of grief... I'm past denial but nowhere near acceptance.  I have a voracious appetite for information, and the internet has plenty of that.... I appreciate Chris and Debby... they've helped me learn a lot about who I am...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FY1R8Z08o18

... and Orion Kelly (his book is good too)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPBUNGJDONk

A word of caution... they are both raw and real about their journey... some episodes will hit home hard... and some will leaving scratching your head going... oookkkkaaayyyy... that's not me... and that's a good thing.

Don't rush it. You spent your whole life believing a whole bunch of good and bad about yourself. My therapist says the diagnosis is a reboot, a mulligan if you will.. a chance to forgive yourself and set a new path true to yourself.  Take the time and journal YOU... not the YOU created by everyone else... and then surround yourself with those things.

Find a good therapist... I'm in the US and pay $25 a visit (after insurance) to speak with a licensed therapist, not only with a Phd, but teaches at the local university too. We talk relationships, religion, anxiety, and are going through CBT and Interpersonal Psychotherapy for Depression. He knows his stuff. There are high priced advocacy groups out there, but they just take a 40hour course and call themselves experts but without any real skills... your mileage may vary, but I wasn't impressed with the cost/benefit ratio.

Many of my autistic friends agree the key is to avoid anxiety... often this means enjoying nature/animals as a way to relax. Others have gone full-intellectual and manage their cortisol levels like diabetics manage insulin... regular walking routines, swimming, living at the gym.  No matter how you do it... managing anxiety helps you have the inner peace needed to explore who you really are. Don't let anyone rob that peace.

Take5 said:

I have still been checking in on here and reading posts on various topics but I have just not had the capacity to join in.

We all go through phases like this. You recognise it which is great and you are doing something about it (pulling back from engaging) which is healthy. It sounds like you are doing all the right things to get to feel better.

I do like to take some time out occasionally too and go offline for a day or two just to enjoy the lack of expectations or interactions and recharge my batteries a bit.

Take5 said:

As the title suggests I’m in a complete muddle over many things related to my diagnosis in June. Fortunately for everyone I don’t have the energy to post everything that explains why I’m struggling.

When / if you feel like talking then we are here.

Take5 said:

Things have been so up and down since June that I have lost interest in most things, lack motivation

These could be signs of depression - do you have a therapist of someone who you can talk to about what is troubling you? They are probably the single best tool to use to work your way through the fog at the moment and help you find a healthier balance for the future.

It's good to have you back.

Hope you don’t mind me asking but how is your assessment process going? I know you mentioned you were waiting. 

Take5 said:

. It all just fills me with dread unfortunately. 

This is your problem. Your daily bucket of energy has a hole in it. You need to look at what is causing the dread and make it smaller.

I tried to pm him on here, but it just says an error occurred. He may have left the community permanently but I’m hoping he still’s checks in from time to time. 
I used to love hearing about his projects and his passion for restoration. 
He was also finding post diagnosis challenging so I just hope he’s okay.

Very kind words. Thank you.

The course you are doing sounds great and guess it has given you a lot of self realisation to be able to manage things in a more balanced way. 
I have had quite a lot of contact with AEM, they helped me with information and advice for my youngest son pre and post diagnosis. They also helped me start to advocate for him where school was concerned…. Such a valuable service and I will be forever grateful to them. 
I find it astonishing how I could do the social thing before, obviously still feeling like I’m in a glass box and wandering around from person to person to say a little and move on. Never really knew why I had a hangover with drinking very little alcohol, guess that was social hangover as I’ve heard it described. 
Good old boundaries, it’s something my therapist suggested I had very little in place in my relationship and with the small number of friends I have. People do capitalise on the fact your always so agreeable and eager to put their best interests before your own. 
I do blame myself for that, letting others take advantage of your kindness.

Anyway I’m waffling on again but just wanted to let you know it’s reassuring to know I’m not alone but  just wanted to say your not alone also ( just repaying the kindness back)

Good luck with your AEM course and thank you again 

Thank you for your response, I often feel like I just take space here for no reason. I'm here and staying probably as long as the NAS forum exists (I hope for ever). You take care too! And I also enjoy reading your posts.

Thank you. 
I am sorry you are finding things tricky at the moment and I hope you are able to work things out for yourself. 
I have always enjoyed your contributions on here and equally your artwork and creative skills.

Take care! 

Hi, I'm happy to see you here and I'm like you for quite some time. Also not contributing  much. My head is busy, getting tortured by some anger and unable to forgive some people. Anyway don't feel bad, we are happy to see you here.

Saying NO was something else that came up in the training yesterday too. Strangely it is a word I just don't use. It was a lightbulb moment for me. We can say NO just as much as we say yes. There is nothing wrong with that..

Why don't you reach out to Roy? He may be feeling just the same way as you are. Imagine you both thinking the same thing about each other and never reaching out. That would be so sad.

My head hurts too...lots of the time...you are not alone in how you are feeling.

First of all don't worry about not contributing. I think most of us need time out and sharing shouldn't be forced. You do belong here BTW, and you are not oversharing. How can we help each other if we don't know what each of us is going through.

I am currently having zoom training every Friday with AEM and this week is was about Assertiveness and Boundaries. It made me realize that within my relationship I have had very few boundaries and it's made me vulnerable. I would do things because I thought I had to with zero consideration of how it made me feel. Truly it made me feel miserable, lots of the time.

I wonder if maybe you could say to your partner that you don't feel up to attending the social event and try not to feel bad about it. It sounds like your partner is trying to understand you and be supportive which is great, so hopefully if you explain why it will help.

I'm starting to realize there are certain things I don't want to do, not because I'm being awkward but because they are sometimes unbearable for me. Even is society frowns upon me it doesn't matter, my well-being is more important than attending a social event.

Take care of yourself.

Thank you. 
I would say expectations of myself have been high and not complying with social norms have caused comments being hurled in my direction from my partner. 
It is a tough balance and it seems I’m the one that is ignoring my needs. It all just fills me with dread unfortunately. 
I am on ssri’s which I have reduced my dosage slowly but have been okay so far. 
Think I need to probably stand up for myself more and just learn to say the magic word NO…… I never really do. 
I have also been less active here since Roy departed from here, think he was having a tough time and needed some space. I do miss him and felt that we had some common interests. 

Thank you for replying Stuart333

You don't need to apologise.

It takes time, a little thought and some effort to post. People can choose where best to spend these, particularly if they are limited.

To dip in and out is what a forum is for. It is not real time so people can contribute when ready.

You may be becoming depressed. Losing interest and motivation would match. Or you could be burning out. Perhaps you need to do less, or lower your expectations of yourself. Could you just not atte d the next event? Just carrying on with little adjustments may not be enough.

You might want to consider what is draining you that you can improve on. Pay attention to when you are tense or feel under pressure.