Sorry for not contributing much

Hi all

As the title suggests I’m in a complete muddle over many things related to my diagnosis in June. Fortunately for everyone I don’t have the energy to post everything that explains why I’m struggling. I have still been checking in on here and reading posts on various topics but I have just not had the capacity to join in. 
I feel okay for a few days and dare I say even positive about the future and then something brings me right back down again. Currently sat here at 2:25 am thinking about a social gathering I was told we are attending next Saturday and it’s tipped me over the edge again. 
I was sociable last week and my partner was quite supportive which was a really positive thing for me and filled me with hope. I managed the night and took some provisions and had regular breaks from the chaos. 
for next week I asked questions about who will be there and a start and finish time for preparation purposes. I was told to stop making a fuss and why can’t I just enjoy myself (I’m thinking Pierre Novellie). 
Things have been so up and down since June that I have lost interest in most things, lack motivation and of course it’s been that long that I haven’t contributed on here that I feel like I don’t belong anywhere. 

I am very sorry to put this post out but I just feel a little desperate and just needed to share, or perhaps over share as I’m sometimes told. 

My head hurts. 

Parents
  • Still having highs and lows and I got diagnosed 4 years ago. I think its like the stages of grief... I'm past denial but nowhere near acceptance.  I have a voracious appetite for information, and the internet has plenty of that.... I appreciate Chris and Debby... they've helped me learn a lot about who I am...

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FY1R8Z08o18

    ... and Orion Kelly (his book is good too)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPBUNGJDONk

    A word of caution... they are both raw and real about their journey... some episodes will hit home hard... and some will leaving scratching your head going... oookkkkaaayyyy... that's not me... and that's a good thing.

    Don't rush it. You spent your whole life believing a whole bunch of good and bad about yourself. My therapist says the diagnosis is a reboot, a mulligan if you will.. a chance to forgive yourself and set a new path true to yourself.  Take the time and journal YOU... not the YOU created by everyone else... and then surround yourself with those things.

    Find a good therapist... I'm in the US and pay $25 a visit (after insurance) to speak with a licensed therapist, not only with a Phd, but teaches at the local university too. We talk relationships, religion, anxiety, and are going through CBT and Interpersonal Psychotherapy for Depression. He knows his stuff. There are high priced advocacy groups out there, but they just take a 40hour course and call themselves experts but without any real skills... your mileage may vary, but I wasn't impressed with the cost/benefit ratio.

    Many of my autistic friends agree the key is to avoid anxiety... often this means enjoying nature/animals as a way to relax. Others have gone full-intellectual and manage their cortisol levels like diabetics manage insulin... regular walking routines, swimming, living at the gym.  No matter how you do it... managing anxiety helps you have the inner peace needed to explore who you really are. Don't let anyone rob that peace.

Reply
  • Still having highs and lows and I got diagnosed 4 years ago. I think its like the stages of grief... I'm past denial but nowhere near acceptance.  I have a voracious appetite for information, and the internet has plenty of that.... I appreciate Chris and Debby... they've helped me learn a lot about who I am...

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FY1R8Z08o18

    ... and Orion Kelly (his book is good too)

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPBUNGJDONk

    A word of caution... they are both raw and real about their journey... some episodes will hit home hard... and some will leaving scratching your head going... oookkkkaaayyyy... that's not me... and that's a good thing.

    Don't rush it. You spent your whole life believing a whole bunch of good and bad about yourself. My therapist says the diagnosis is a reboot, a mulligan if you will.. a chance to forgive yourself and set a new path true to yourself.  Take the time and journal YOU... not the YOU created by everyone else... and then surround yourself with those things.

    Find a good therapist... I'm in the US and pay $25 a visit (after insurance) to speak with a licensed therapist, not only with a Phd, but teaches at the local university too. We talk relationships, religion, anxiety, and are going through CBT and Interpersonal Psychotherapy for Depression. He knows his stuff. There are high priced advocacy groups out there, but they just take a 40hour course and call themselves experts but without any real skills... your mileage may vary, but I wasn't impressed with the cost/benefit ratio.

    Many of my autistic friends agree the key is to avoid anxiety... often this means enjoying nature/animals as a way to relax. Others have gone full-intellectual and manage their cortisol levels like diabetics manage insulin... regular walking routines, swimming, living at the gym.  No matter how you do it... managing anxiety helps you have the inner peace needed to explore who you really are. Don't let anyone rob that peace.

Children
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