Hello! Non-officially-diagnosed adult male here

Ah I see didn’t know that’s what it was called it. I’m not a real author despite my best efforts, hope to be one day!

Home labbing is the process of building a home computer server, then tinkering with it for ages.

Oh I'm so lucky to have met an author! Frankly I didn't really write anything - only consumed an endless torrent of youtube videos about writing and spent about a decade day-dreaming and laying out what I want to write. I am fully aware all I need is to pull my head out of the sad parts it's buried in - I have enough of inspiration, topics, language control and anything else I could think of. 

Thank you so much for a thoughtful reply, DormouseAtRest_25! Already I feel welcome and much more at ease - it's a great feeling.

I am going to try and make friends within this Community, it's very much something I would love to do. Maybe I'll even understand what making friends actually mean in the process.

I think one of the issues I'm facing is that I've mastered the strange art of "making acquintances" - after years of practice and research I can be quite slick at introducing myself and establishing rapport - if I say so myself. But it's the part after that leaves me completely clueless. Ok you've had a good chat at the venue with this stranger and you know their name. Que penguins from Madagascar standing awkwardly at the North Pole and asking: "now what?". 

My understanding is you play the numbers game and talk to a ton of strangers, learn their names and then you hit it off with someone - but I don't think I'll ever have the emotional budget to pull that off, so each chat becomes high-risk. And what usually happens is I hear a polite "let's stay in touch" - which apparently means "don't talk to me ever". If I press the matter and try to contact this person (if I even get their contact) then I get ghosted.

As I shared on the other reply my interests are (surprise!) very inward-focused, being reading, gaming and running in my own little world.

I'd like to stress - I am eager to try and break out of this solitary shell, and I'm not sharing this to try and shoot down your proposals - more to highlight what it is exactly that I'm struggling with. I'll keep trying and will also try and ask the hard questions of "are we friends now? how about now? is it OK to text you now? Are we at the "meet in person stage yet?" - even if the very thought makes me shudder.

No idea what home labbing is, assume it’s nothing to do with chemistry? Writing fantasy epics is a big passion of mine, although currently on a break, recharging my writing battery  

My heart goes out to you for having such a difficult time with your career. I can't say my career was great myself - I was jumping from one speciality to another and now that I'm pushing forty I see how crippled I am for not having a professional network of connections to lean on to find the next role, but at least it's stable and I think I am at least somewhat playing to my strength.

I can't even imagine how hard can it be to learn about your diagnosis so late and having to re-invent yourself. I hope that part of your versatility will help you.

Hello whiteD404 and thank you very much for your warm welcome! My interests are reading and books in general, IT and home labbing, video games, anime, I dabble a little bit in writing fiction and I do long-distance running though I really need to get back into shape.

Hello NeatCart welcome to the community, good to have you here. What things are you interested in?

You are comparatively lucky.

My entire career was a motorway pile up followed by a train smash then an airplane crash with the odd shipwreck in between. Now 67 I am being told I am on the spectrum. You still have time to learn how to navigate the other lot. I am trying to male sense of my life to avoid a lonely existence after getting black balled at a local sports club. 

NeatCart said:

I'm feeling completely lost as to how to actually make friends that have same interests.

Hello.  Maybe practise making friends within this Community. 

Perhaps let people know about some of your interests (those things which you are comfortable sharing).

Otherwise, you might want to attend venues / events connected with your interests - great minds think alike - if you are in the right environment; there is more likelihood of a chance conversation sparking a new contact who shares topics to talk about that also work for you too.

E.g. I keep a look out for museums / cinemas / theatres etc. who host Autism-friendly open hours.  My reasoning being that those other people attending might be more likely to share my interests / communication preferences.  My approach is to try and be a regular attendee - so that people have seen me there several times before (as that csn sometimes help one another to be more confident that an opening comment might be well received).

I usually try to arrive 15 minutes early and then just silently wave "hello" as people assemble ready for the event. 

We all know we are there for the Autism-friendly opening and a welcome wave "hello" can sometimes be enough to "break the ice" among strangers.